Pen Pals

Dear Em,
Last year you made the sweetest, little friend. You both love books. You both love pink. It was a match made in heaven.

Except...

You met your friend Claire at an out of state wedding. Her family lives in Pennsilvania. This doesn't make play dates easy to plan.

Luckily, her family came to visit Rhode Island for a fantastic long weekend a few months ago. It was as if no time had passed. You & Claire took up right where you left off. We loved the time we got to share with the whole family.

When it came time for Claire & her family to return home, you were devestated. I understood. It's so hard to say goodbye to dear friends, especially when you know it will be a while before you're able to be reunited. I suggested you write letters to Claire to keep in touch until we can visit her family. It didn't totally take away the sting of being apart, but you were excited to have a way to communicate...& you were really excited about the prospect of getting mail.

You wrote your first letter to her a few weeks later. Expecting to have a response the next day, you couldn't understand why the mail "was taking SOOOO long." Since then, we've had many discussions about how the postal system works. It's been an excellent lesson in patience.

When you opened the mailbox to find your first letter from Claire, you couldn't have been more excited. You read it aloud to Daddy & I. It was so fun to find out what she & her family had been up to. You "ohhhed" & "awed" over the picture she drew you & hung it up on the wall.

I smiled as I watched you write Claire a letter in return. In a world that's full of quick text, email, & facebook messages, you have a found a pen pal...& a fantastic friend.

I love you so,
Mommy

Measuring Tape

Dear Em,
You're a little learning sponge. You constantly come home with a project of some sort in mind. We have refrigerator doors full of your writings, notes to Daddy & I, lists of numbers, & even instructions on how to make stars. I love how much you love school & learning at this age.

A couple weeks ago, you made a card & had left over paper. When I found you at the dining table, you had cut strips out of the paper & had taped them together to make one, long piece of paper. The strip was longer than you are tall. You numbered it from 1 to 100.

"Mom, I made a measuring tape. Look! I'm 55!"

While no actual standard forms of measurement had been used in the making of your "measuring tape," I couldn't help but be awed by you. I remember working together to count to ten. Now you're writing out your numbers to 100...& using scissors...all by yourself.

Sometimes it's sad for me to see you grow up so quickly, but it's just as exciting to see the young lady you're becoming. I couldn't be more proud to be your mom.

I love you so,
Mommy

My Mini Me

Dear Em,
From the moment you were born, Daddy & I have always seen you as a wonderful mix of the two of us. You have my cheeks but his long torso. You have the shape of Daddy's eyes but my wide feet. Daddy's eyes are blue & mine are brown. Your eyes are a greenish hazel. As children, Daddy had bright blonde hair & my hair was brown. Your hair is a beautiful, dirty blonde- a mix of both of us!

I love seeing the resemblance when I look at pictures of me as a child & compare them to what you look like right now. You are so my child. Sometimes, you even talk similarly.

On the other hand, you have a sense of style that is all your own. Still, sometimes you love to match your mom. When I try on clothes at a store, you love to try on the same ones.

When we were in New Hampshire, I realized we had a couple shirts that were similar. I declared it twins day, & you were thrilled to play along...even if there was no pink to be had in either of the outfits. We hiked around New Hampshire in sweaters with blue & white stripes. You held my hand throughout most of the day, & I smiled as I looked down at my mini-me.

That night we changed into comfy, grey sweatpants & bright orange shirts. Again, you squealed with delight that we got to be "twins!"

Having a mini-me is one of the most freaking fun things in the whole world, & I love how much you beam when I refer to you as my mini-me. I know there will come a day when you don't think I'm the most amazing woman in the world. I'm sure there will be a time when you don't want to dress or look anything like me. For now, I'm just going to relish this time. I'm going to enjoy every moment of holding hands with my mini-me.

I love you so,

Mommy

Our Family New Hampshire Adventure 2015: My Favorite Hot Tub

Dear Em,
You LOVE hot tubs. You seem to rate how much you like a home by whether or not a hot tub is included. Nonnie & Papi have one at their house, & they've talked about how we should get one too. I like hot tubs, but I really don't want to own one. All I can think of is cost & maintenance & how we would have to hire someone to fix it if ever it was broken. I don't think we'll ever be hot tub owners.

However, it is a nice bonus when we're vacationing.

I think my very favorite hot tub to visit is the one in the condo complex where we vacation in New Hampshire. It's at the base of Loon Mountain. When you combine the brisk fall air & gorgeous, foliage filled mountain views with the heat & relaxation of the hot tub. It's pretty close to a perfect vacation moment. During our most recent visit, we got to experience all of that in the midst of the most brilliant sunset. My heart was at peace.

Although, I wouldn't necessarily consider it relaxing. I was in the hot tub with you, after all. Hot tubbing with you is always an adventure...& very splashy. I don't know if most people do cannon balls into hot tubs, but you do. Ha!

I love you so,

Mommy

On Being a Grown Up

Dear Em,
You were taking a bath when you proudly exclaimed, "I am a grown up." I smiled at you lovingly, feeling that time was spinning out of control & wishing that it would slow down. "Well, you're a big girl, but you're not a grown up," I corrected. "No, Mommy, really. I AM a grown up," you said with big, eager eyes.

"Well, are you 18 yet?" "No." "Do you have a job? Do you pay for your home & your food & your clothes?" "No." "Do you prepare yourself meals? Do you do your own laundry?" "No." "Well, I'm sorry, sweet heart, but you're not a grown up. Being a grown up means being responsible for yourself, providing for yourself, & taking care of yourself."

"But I have to be a grown up!!" Your eyes filled with tears, & you began crying.

"Sweet Pea, why do you want to grow up so quickly? Being a kid is one of the most fun things in life, & once you're not a kid anymore, you never get to be a kid again. You should enjoy being able to play instead of going to work. Enjoy learning & growing & having fun. I wish I could be a kid again. Why are you in such a rush to grow up?" I soothingly stroked your hair.

"I just have to be a grown up, because you have to be a grown up to have a baby. I REALLY want a baby."

I didn't realize it was possible for my heart to break at the very same time every part of my body was struggling not to laugh out loud. Somehow I kept a straight face as I stroked your hair some more. I reminded you that taking care of a baby is wonderful but it's also A LOT of hard work. I asked you once again not to rush the growing up process.

I mean, I know what it feels like to long for a child of your own...just not quite at such a young age. Right now, you want to have at least 26 kids. You plan to have at least two sets of twins & one set of triplets. Maybe this is my fault. Maybe if we had given you a brother or a sister you would know that babies are not all fun & games. Maybe you wouldn't be longing to have one of your own right now.

A month after we had this conversation, your best friend Savanna had come over. The two of you were playing dress up. You were a mom with three jobs & tons of kids. You had asked Savanna if she would babysit your kids while you went out. Savanna was in the middle of playing. "I don't really want to babysit now. Maybe I'll babysit another time."

You were perplexed. Your Nonnie is ALWAYS willing to babysit whenever the two of you play together. I don't think you've ever run into a babysitting problem before. "You said you won't take care of my kids, but I need someone to watch them!" Savanna simply replied, "I said I would watch them some day, but I'm busy today. There's a difference." You were exasperated. "So, I have all of these kids & no one to watch them?!!"

Exactly! Maybe now you'll want to wait a little while before you become a grown up?

I love you so,
Mommy

Our Little Texter

Dear Em,
You've discovered the world of texting. Since you don't have your own phone, you need to use someone elses...which means yesterday I didn't have access to my phone for the majority of the day. You were busy with it...texting.

So far, you've texted me & Nonnie, & writing little love notes to us throughout the day is your favorite thing. Your messages typically consist of small phrases about how much you love us & a whole lot of emojis. You love it when the iPhone suggests the word that you're trying to type so that you don't have to sound out & type out the whole thing. You're a little bit of a demanding texter. You expect a response right away, & will type "Why aren't you texting me back?" if more than a few minutes have gone by without a response. It's kind of hilarious.

I can't decided if this is the cutest thing ever or the beginning of a really big problem. Sigh.

I love you so,
Mommy

Your First Camp-Out

Dear Em,
Daddy & I love camping. In fact, daddy bought me a tent for my 21st birthday. Before you were born, we went camping every summer. Since you joined our little family, we've been fearful of what camping might be like with a little. Would you be able to fall asleep at night? Would you wake up at the first hint of dawn? Would you miss your toys & books & electricity & be crazy bored at night?

We decided a backyard camping night would be a good test. Our summer has been pretty full, but this past Saturday night we squeezed in your first camp-out. You & Daddy set up the tents. He looked a little exasperated at times (I was inside cooking dinner), but you guys got both tents up. To add a little Emma style & flair, you decorated the inside of our tents. You & Nonnie had worked hard that day coloring numerous pictures for our tents, & our friend, "Aunt Erin," helped you tape them in the tent.

We ate outside with Nonnie & friends on our patio. I have to say, it was one of the best looking camp sites I've ever been to.

After dinner, Daddy got a fire going in the fire pit. We sat around & roasted marshmallows & made s'mores. You had more than your share, & that may have contributed to the bouncing energy you had. You were giddy with camping excitement. You begged to stay up until midnight. Daddy gave me a look that said "that would be the worst possible thing we could let her do," & I happily agreed to a midnight bedtime.

I suggested we lay on the hammock & quietly look at the stars. You swung & bounced us around on the hammock until I was fearful of my life (& absolutely covered in the drink I was drinking).

Eager to share your exuberance, I suggested that Daddy would be able to better point out the constellations. The two of you sat in an Adirondack chair as he pointed out the big dipper & various other star formations.

At 10pm, I declared it was midnight & time for bed. "I stayed up until midnight," you happily declared. We snuggled together (on an air mattress) as I read a few chapters of Magic Tree House book we had been reading. We said our prayers, & I tucked you into your sleeping bag. I turned on your sleep sheep, & we all quickly fell asleep to the sound of the ocean.

To my surprise, you slept until 7:30 the next morning. Once you saw "Aunt Erin" & I were awake too, you happily joined us on the air mattress. We snuggled up & read a few more chapters of The Magic Tree House while every one was waking up.

To me, our camping experiment was a great success. You didn't wake up at dawn. Daddy was a little more hesitant to declare our test a win. He worried about your exuberance & loud bellowing nature from the night before. "Maybe we can try this again in a few years," he suggested.

You didn't want to wait a few years. "Can we camp out again tonight," you asked with such an excited look on your face. I talked to you about Daddy's worry about you being too loud at night. When you're at a campground with lots of other people, you can't yell & scream. You'll keep everyone awake. "Oh, I'll be much quieter the next time, Mommy," you assured me. "I was only loud this time because I was excited about my first time camping. Next time won't be my first time, so it will be much less exciting."

Ha! Well, I guess if that's the case, we better look into booking a real camping excursion later this year.

I love you so,
Mommy

love letters

Dear Em,

"I know I should take cover, hide inside these four walls

But baby I surrender, it all

'Cause you're a force of nature

Look at what you've doneI can taste the danger but I don't wanna run"

- Force of Nature by Bea Miller

The rest of this song doesn't really apply to you, but I loved the phrase "force of nature." It's so you. You are a bouncing, twirling, bounding, running, crashing, jump first-think later type of gal. You are forever falling down & bouncing back up with a thumbs up & an "I OK." You may have fractured your ankle, but even putting you in a cast hasn't slowed you down at all. You're still bouncing, twirling, & running circles around us- except you're doing it with a cast. The other day you tried to climb up onto the trampoline...in your cast. That was where I finally put my foot down.

When most people think of weapons, 5 year olds wearing cast probably don't come to mind...but they should. You are dangerous with that thing. I'm pretty sure before you get the cast off your foot, we will probably all need casts as well the way you accidentally run into us/kick us/step on us/fall on top of us with it. You are another accident waiting to happen. Ha!

I love you so much, my little force of nature. For a little body, you pack a great punch.

I love you so,
Mommy

We Really Are Gardeners...Kind Of, Sort Of

Dear Em,
We have a flower & vegetable garden this year! It didn't happen exactly how we planned. You probably think that our attempt at growing flowers & veggies from seeds was a great success. It wasn't. I was so excited about giving those seeds life, I probably over watered the heck out of everything, & only about a 5th of our seeds sprouted anything. To correct my over watering issue, I mostly stopped watering the plants that were growing. That killed almost all of the sprouts we had...except for one that we think might be a zucchini...we're not really sure.

So, how did we create a fantastic flower & vegetable garden? Well, Nonnie & Papi came to the rescue. We've had a small square patch of land in our yard that was probably once a garden. Since we moved in, it's been an overgrown patch of mess. For years Daddy said he was going to make it a garden, & for years it sat in our yard like an eyesore. Last year Uncle Jared cleared it out. He took out the sharp, metal posts that lined it & the weeds that filled it. By this June, it was filled with weeds again.

That was when Nonnie & Papi stepped in. I shared that I wanted to create a garden, but I had no idea what I was doing. I wanted a mix of plants in the patch of land & also in planters. I was willing to start new with the planters each year but wanted plants in the ground that were low maintenance & come back each & every year. We went to Home Depot & Nonnie picked out so many flowers & plants of different heights & colors, there were people in the store that thought our three (yes three) carts were Home Depot displays.

Nonnie & Papi pretty quickly agreed that I had no idea what I was doing when it came to creating the garden. I would try, but they kept saying, "here, just give it to me." I mostly just bank rolled the project & sat around & watched them work their magic.

The only thing they really trusted me to do is to place the step stones that would become our walkway to the hose. They also let me lay out the mulch. Ha!

Next we added some planters. While Nonnie was the one who did all the planting, at least they trusted me to decorate our planters. Every year we've painted planters for your teachers. This year we finally made some for us.

We bought a tomato plant & placed it in the middle of our garden. Then we added a barrel planter (to hide our septic access) that Nonnie filled with basil & cilantro & flowers (& what we think is a zuchinni we started to grow from a seed). Lastly, I purchased a vertical planter (it wasn't as large as I thought it would be & I just purchased a second one that we will put up next year) that Nonnie filled with peppers & herbs & zucchini & eggplant. 

It's the best kind of garden for me, because I don't have to do anything to it. Nonnie waters & prunes everything, & I just enjoy the sight of the flowers & taste of the herbs (& hopefully eventually the veggies). Between our new patio & our amazing vegetable & flower gardens, our backyard has become a fun oasis that sometimes I can't believe is ours.

I love you so,

Mommy

Love Letters

Just a few hours before you broke your ankle...

Dear Em,

"You're a grand old flag. You're a high flying flag & forever in peace may you wave. You're the emblem of the land I love, the home of the free & the brave."

- You're a Grand Old Flag, a song that you learned in PreK, this year, & have been happily singing ever since

Almost a month later...I'm recapping our fun & impromptu Independence Day. It was the holiday weekend that didn't go at all as planned, but was still a blast. It was also the weekend you broke your ankle.

Our celebrating started on July 3rd. The whole Haeussler family was visiting from Ohio. We packed everyone into 2 cars & headed up to Pawtucket to catch a Pawtucket RedSox game followed by fireworks. I had bought the tickets months in advance. We had nearly front row seats, & I was excited for Trey & Dane to see their very first fireworks. We happily took a picture, our two families together with the giant Paws standing outside of the stadium.

Except that apparently I accidentally bought front row seats for July 2nd. Major fail!! The guy scanning our tickets was super nice. He had three standing room tickets for the July 3rd game he was willing to give us & encouraged us to see about getting standing room tickets for the rest of our group (it was practically a sold out game).

I couldn't believe I had made such a dumb mistake, & I left it up to the Haeusslers. We could purchase standing room tickets & see how we fare with three small children in tow, or we could head back home & make our own fun in the backyard. Worried about possible rain the next day, we all decided to make the most of the clear skies we had & opted for fun in the backyard. So, 10 minutes after we arrived in Pawtucket, we headed back home.

The look on poor Trey's face broke my heart. "You mean, we're not going to get to see the baseball game?" The look on his face was so innocent & solemn. We brightened his spirits by checking out a firetruck (it was his favorite number...3!). Nonnie, you, Trey, & I loaded into my car. We stopped at Walmart on the way home. I put you & Trey in the cart, & we literally flew down aisles, grabbing candy & ice cream & fireworks as we did. You & Trey giggled & yelled "faster!" the whole way.

By the time we got home, Daddy had already gotten the fire pit going. You kids ate ice cream & candy & roasted s'mores. Then Daddy put on the best Rhode Island backyard firework show that could be bought from Walmart. You & Trey sat together & watched the show together, & in between fireworks, the two of you ran around with sparklers (it was one of the cutest things I've ever seen).

"Thanks, Auntie Julie, for saving the day," Trey yelled excitedly with s'more & ice cream residue all over his sweet face. You kids went to bed LATE & happy...& I felt a little bit better about buying tickets for the wrong baseball game. We had a pretty perfect night.

I woke up the next morning to find our Independence Day wasn't going to be rainy & dreary like the forecasters had predicted. We had planned to go to a parade early that morning but thought it might be wiser to let you kids sleep after the late night you had had the night before. Instead, we had a leisurely morning- well, as leisurely a morning as you can have with three small & loud (but totally amazing) kids running around. Aunt Jayme french braided our hair, with colorful red, white, & blue streamers.

We headed outside in the afternoon for BBQing & backyard fun. I had picked up some festive hats & pompoms from the grocery store. Although they were pretty clearly 4th of July hats, you & Trey called them your cowboy hats & ran around saying things like "howdy partner" & "how're you doing, mam."

Since we didn't wake up early enough to join the parade that morning, we decided to walk around the neighborhood & make our own parade. When none of our Independence Day plans work out, we just make new fun plans. Your best friend, Savanna, joined us. You & Savanna sang You're a Grand Old Flag most of the way. After walking halfway around the neighborhood, Trey asked Nonnie when we would get to the parade. When Nonnie informed him this was the parade, he jumped out of the wagon- big smiles & flag waving- & yelled "Happy 4th of July" for the rest of our "parade." It was pretty cute & really hilarious.

We ended the night in the backyard with more fire pit, fireworks, & sparklers. 

Except that at some point, you became miserable. You had a flurry of fun around you, & you were whining & crying. Exasperated (& not realizing you had broken your ankle earlier), I shouted. "You are surrounded by fireworks & sparklers & your friends. Why can't you just be happy?! That's it. You're going to bed!" Sigh. And that's how our Independence Day celebrations came to an end. Almost nothing worked out exactly the way I had planned for it to, but it was amazing all the same (except for the broken ankle) mostly because of the precious moments we got to share with some of our favorite people.

Let's make a pact. Next year, you try really hard not to break any bones, & I'll try not to end our fun weekend of celebrating by yelling at you & putting you to bed...also, I will try to buy our PawSox tickets for the right day. Deal?

I love you so,

Mommy