Measuring Tape

Dear Em,
You're a little learning sponge. You constantly come home with a project of some sort in mind. We have refrigerator doors full of your writings, notes to Daddy & I, lists of numbers, & even instructions on how to make stars. I love how much you love school & learning at this age.

A couple weeks ago, you made a card & had left over paper. When I found you at the dining table, you had cut strips out of the paper & had taped them together to make one, long piece of paper. The strip was longer than you are tall. You numbered it from 1 to 100.

"Mom, I made a measuring tape. Look! I'm 55!"

While no actual standard forms of measurement had been used in the making of your "measuring tape," I couldn't help but be awed by you. I remember working together to count to ten. Now you're writing out your numbers to 100...& using scissors...all by yourself.

Sometimes it's sad for me to see you grow up so quickly, but it's just as exciting to see the young lady you're becoming. I couldn't be more proud to be your mom.

I love you so,
Mommy

Heart Walk

Dear Em,
This past Saturday we had the opportunity to walk in the American Heart Association's Heart Walk. The heart walk is something near & dear to my own heart. We know too many people that have suffered with heart disease. Mostly, I spent the day thinking about my Grandma. She was a little, Irish woman with big personality. She was one of my best friends, & to me she always seemed invincible. Then right before I graduated from college, my grandmother was admitted to the hospital. I didn't know much except that she was really sick.

She was diagnosed with heart failure but soon discharged from the hospital. I didn't know anything about heart failure. I knew she had a few more medications she had to take daily. I assumed that it was like hypertension. As long as she took her medications, I thought she would be just fine. I thought she would some day take you on trips to see Boston & the homes of your favorite authors just like she did with me.

What I know now is that after a person is diagnosed with heart failure, they have a 50% chance of dying within five years. That survival rate is worse than most cancers. What know now is heart failure really slows people down. Many people can easily feel out of breath after just walking down the street or walking up the stairs. People suffering with heart failure often wake up in the middle of night feeling like they're drowning & gasping for breath. It breaks my heart that so many people are living & dying with heart failure.

In hopes for a better tomorrow, we walked the Heart Walk. We had a small but mighty team of seven people. As walks to raise money for a good cause go, this was definitely one of the smallest I've been a part of. Luckily, it only takes a few great people to make a big difference.

This was certainly the most beautiful walk I've ever done. We started at the Watch Hill Gazebo, looking out at the water and all the boats that were anchored. The walk took us along the coast & past many gorgeous houses & properties. We walked by Taylor Swift's House. You were hoping she would join us on the heart walk. Unfortunately, she wasn't available.

During the walk & throughout the day, you & I discussed things we could do to keep our hearts' healthy. We talked about exercising & eating healthy foods. "Well, it's a good thing I ate broccoli last night," you proudly declared to our whole team.

The Westerly Heart Walk was five miles, but once we finished we walked a little further. We went up the dune to Napatree Point & showed Grandma & Papa one of our favorite spots in all of Rhode Island. Of course, you ran right in the water & splashed in the waves.

I can't think of a better way to end a Heart Walk. It made my heart so happy to watch my healthy, little girl jumping & running & laughing in the waves. I hope my Grandma was looking down & smiling at you too.

I love you so,
Mommy

Your First Day of Kindergarten

Dear Em,
Sigh. And just like that, I accidentally took two weeks off from posting on the blog again. The next few weeks will be a flurry of catching up with posts, because we've had so many fun moments I want to recap. The biggest news, however, is that you started kindergarten yesterday.

Leading up to yesterday, you were a ball of nerves. Half the time you would emphatically exclaim you didn't want to talk about starting kindergarten. When you finally opened up, it broke my heart. You had been going to Sweet Peas since you were 1 1/2 years old. You missed your friends. You worried you wouldn't make any new friends in your new school & you wouldn't fit in.

We talked a lot about my experience moving around from place to place as I grew up. We talked about just starting out by saying "hello." We embraced words of encouragement & support from our friends & family members. We prayed about it.

We read The Kissing Hand at bedtime the night before your first day (in true Emma fashion, you were rocking a black eye from getting hit in the face by a branch that day). I kissed the middle of the palm of your left hand so that you would have a kissing hand to go to school with the next day. We tucked you in & turned out the lights. I couldn't believe the next time I saw you, you would be an official kindergartner.

Your first day of kindergarten arrived, & I was happy to see excitement on your face that morning. I took about a million photos (you started to protest, but I told you that this was the only first day of kindergarten you would ever have & some day your kids would want to see pictures), & then you, Daddy, & I walked to the bus stop together.

The bus was late. You looked up to me as you held my hand. "Mom, I'm starting to feel more nervous." I hugged you close, gave you a kiss, & reminded you how easy it is to just say "hello."

The bus pulled up, & you let go of my hand. You followed the other kids across the street toward the bus, your backpack looked huge on your little body. You turned your head with a wave & gave us one more Emma smile. I think I held my breath as you stepped onto the bus. You all had assigned seats, & you looked a little confused about where you were supposed to go. You sat in a seat with two other kids. I got ready to wave & sign "I love you" to you through the bus window. You didn't even look my way. You were already in deep conversation with your new seat-mates. It put such a smile in my heart.

As Daddy & I walked back to our house, one of the moms remarked that no one was crying. I was quietly blinking back tears. I couldn't believe my baby girl was already in kindergarten. It was so hard to send you off on a bus for the first time to a school full of teachers we mostly don't know. This wouldn't be like your last school where we dropped you off right to your teacher in your classroom. We wouldn't be seeing your classmates or getting glimpses of your life at school each day.

At that point, it was my turn to be full of nerves. I thought about you all day & wondered what & how you were doing with the newness of everything that day. I think I checked the clock 5,000 times, & it seemed like forever before it was the end of your school day.

When it finally came time to pick you up, Daddy & I walked to the bus stop together. We wondered what your face would tell us as you got off the bus. Would you be all smiles? Would you be on the brink of tears? Your bus was late again, & the waiting & anticipation was killing me. Your bus finally pulled up, & I smiled as I watched you lug your giant backpack & step down the stairs.

Then you looked up. A huge smile was spread across your face.

I finally felt myself truly breathe as you ran to Daddy & I with open arms. "My first day of kindergarten was Ah-Maz-Ing." You were a little chatter box as we walked back home, telling Daddy & I all about the things you did & the kids & teachers you did them with. For the rest of the day I think you told us about every person you met & everything you did during your first day. You were so excited to return to school the next day & the rest of the year.

I'm so freaking proud of you, little girl. This is a big change & change isn't easy, but you are totally rocking it. You are absolutely amazing. I'm so excited about the things you will accomplish this year as a kindergartener. Thanks for letting me be the one you run to with open arms at the end of the day.

I love you so,
Mommy

Dance Recital 2015

Dear Em,
After 2 weeks of vacation, we're still transitioning back into reality. I plan to post about mine & Daddy's European adventure & your fantastic visit with Grandma & Papa. Today, however, I want to post about an event that we made it home just in time to celebrate: your dance recital.

This was your second year of dance, & you love it. In fact, this year you took a longer dance class & had two dances to perform in the recital. You turned five just in time that you could share the same dance class as your best friend, S. Girls being girls, sometimes the two of you would tumble out of your class in tears, but mostly you loved sharing your love of dance with the girl you love most in the world.

Still on Mediterranean time, I had woken up at 3am the day of your dance recital. I prayed I would be able to be alert & present for your special day. You were so excited to get all dressed up for your special event. I curled your hair before putting it up in a pony tail.

"Mom, we have to wear eye make-up, blush, & lipstick," you excitedly announced. Putting make-up on children is not a strength of mine, & yet I thought it would be a good idea to go one step further this year & add eyeliner. As it turns out, that was a very bad idea. It smudged everywhere & you looked like more of a zombie than a dancer. We basically had to wash everything off & start over. There were a few tears & a lot of frustration. "Mom, Miss Andrea actually said we only have to put on eye make-up, blush, & lipstick if we want to. We don't have to," you whimpered. The thrill of wearing make-up had obviously faded away for you.

We finished getting you ready just in time, but I had to squeeze in a few photos- knowing if we didn't capture them in that moment, we never would. Daddy is used to my tardiness & made me a sandwich, got as much packed into the car as he could, & didn't look too aggravated that I was running late...again.

I brought you to the room where you & your class would wait & got a little choked up seeing my ballerina with all of the other ballerinas. How had a year passed so quickly? How were we already at your second dance recital? How is it that my ballerina is growing up so quickly?

I blinked back tears, gave you kisses & hugs, & told you to do your best & have fun. I was already so incredibly proud of you, my beautiful ballerina. Then I left you to take my seat in the audience. This year's recital theme was "dancing Through the Decades." Your ballet dance, to the song I Want to Hold your Hand, was one of the first. Your little class looked so stinkin' cute standing on stage together, & you were the ballerina all the way to the right.

At one point in the dance, your class did a line of ballet poses. The poses rippled down the line, starting with the girl all the way to the left & ending with you. However, when it came your time to get into your pose position, each & every girl was in their graceful ballet poses...& you were standing with a thumbs up & big smile on your face. Ha!

Your next & final dance came toward the end of the recital. You girls came out in a black, sequined costumes that acted like disco balls when light caught the sequins. You performed a tap number to the song Turn the Beat Around. I smiled, watching you. You looked like you were having so much fun. I'm so glad that you've found something that you love, & hope you will stick with it for as long as you love it.

There was a finale with the whole dance company. You smiled & waved at the audience. To your delight, a pop of confetti covered the stage. I laughed as I found you back at the classroom after the finale. Most of your class was packed up to go & standing in line waiting for their parents. You & S looked like you had moved in. You were sitting in chairs, eating snacks. Your costumes & other belongings were strewn across the floor. I hugged you both. I was so proud of my silly, beautiful, amazing little dancers.

You left the middle school where you had performed to join your many fans waiting outside. Grandma & Papa were there with S's parents & Grandma. You & S both held double bouquets as you posed for the paparazzi pictures before we headed to a local restaurant to celebrate.

I want you to know how incredibly proud I am of you. You worked on something for months, never giving up. You put it all out there in front of everyone & did your very best...in a style that was all your own. You absolutely dazzle me, little girl.

I love you so,
Mommy

Reading Fancy Nancy

Dear Em,
At the beginning of the school year, you set some goals for yourself. A couple weeks ago, you met one of your goals. You read your first Fancy Nancy book. Actually, you read your first collection of Fancy Nancy books.

You were so excited to be reading Fancy Nancy. Typically, you are begging us to read to you. With your Fancy Nancy collection, you were asking to read to us. You have a new confidence in being able to read your favorite books, & it's really amazing. I'm so proud of you.

I love you so,
Mommy

Resolutioning

Dear Em,
It's not every year that I make New Year's resolutions, but this year I started with dreams in my heart that I wanted to focus on throughout the year & beyond. When I thought about things, I kept coming back to three areas of my life that I wanted to make more of a focal point.

- Finding the Good: I felt like I ended last year in a little bit of a judgmental & complainy place. The judgements weren't doing anything positive in my life. They certainly weren't making me happy. Instead, they were just pulling down me & the people around me. I would like to spend more time actively looking for, focusing on, & celebrating the good that surrounds us every day.

- Health: I need to be better to my body. It's the only body I've got, & last year I didn't feel like I had done my best to take care of it. Rather than setting a weight goal, I would like to be more conscious of what I'm filling my body with (we've already begun with a few healthy & yummy recipes that I'll share later). I would also like to increase how active I am. I'm hoping to make room in my life for more walks & hikes & biking adventures & workouts too.

- Adventure: I am so excited about our travel plans for this year! We are taking a couple trips that have been bucket list items/dream vacations for me for a long time. While I am so excited about the adventures that lay ahead for us on those trips, I want to find family adventures at home too. I want to fill this year with sledding & beaches & hiking trails & zoos & day trips & exploration in the areas around us. I want to this year to be about trying new things & new foods & maybe sometimes adventuring outside of my comfort zone.

I asked you if you wanted to make any resolutions this year. You asked me what a resolution was, & I explained to you that a new year is a new chance to learn & do new things. This sounded really fun to you, & you dove right into resolution making. Here's what you came up with:

- "I want to start writing more words...on my own." This made my heart so happy. I'm glad that you enjoy writing, & I love that you've given yourself that goal.

- "I want to start brushing my hair...on my own." Ha! Your hair is so long right now, & brushing it out can really be the bane of both of our mornings. I'm not going to lie. I would love it if you brushed your own hair too.

At this point, we talked about how resolutions don't have to be things that we do "on our own." They can also be things we want to do with our family & friends too. You smiled at that one as you announced your last resolution.

- "I want to do more hiking." I'm so excited about this one. Not only does it fit in with my health & adventure resolutions, it will also involve more fun family time.

I'm listing these resolutions on the blog, because I plan to refer back to them throughout the year & see how we're doing. Not to toot our own horns, but I think we're both off to a great start...except when it cones to the hair brushing.

I love you so,
Mommy

Your 2014 Letter To Santa

Dear Em,
This past week you wrote & sent out your letter to Santa. It's such a sweet tradition to me. You had other thoughts. "But, Mom, I already talked to Santa & told him what I want." That is true. You got me there. I forget what excuse Daddy & I told you about why it was important for you to also write a letter, but we made something up that seemed to make sense to you.

You sat down at the table to make your letter. You wanted to start right off with the important stuff- what you truly want for Christmas. I asked you to be sure to include some pleasantries. You grumbled a little. You were hoping your letter could be short & sweet & you could write as little as possible.

What a difference a year makes. We didn't use rainbow letters at all. You sounded out & wrote each word on your own, checking with me first that the words were spelled correctly. You added your very own "family" of decorated trees, some snowmen, & a star. You had worked so hard, & I was absolutely dazzled by your work. You were pretty much over it. You just wanted to be sure that Santa knows you want matching Bitty Baby outfits more than anything. There are quite a few other things that you've mentioned it would be nice to have, but that's the one thing you really, truly want.

After school I took you to Macys so that we could put your letter into the big, red mailbox. They have such a cute little section of the store set up. The "Santa Mail" box made me smile. You put your letter inside & gave me a thumbs up, feeling absolutely assured that Santa would know exactly what you want for Christmas this year  (& lucky for you, I'm pretty sure Santa is on it).

This is our second year writing a letter to Santa. To you it's almost like a business transaction. It's just what you have to do to let Santa know what to leave under the tree, & you just want to make sure the big man in red knows what you're wishing for. To me, it's become such a fun & precious tradition that I truly cherish sharing with you.

What I didn't know about bringing your letter to Macys (I just thought we were giving you an official mailbox for the fun tradition) is that they donate $1 for every letter to Santa that is placed in these big, red mailboxes. Knowing that by sending a letter with your wishes would help make someone else's wishes come true, made our tradition that much sweeter for me this year.

I love you so,
Mommy