Monday, August 27, 2012

following in my footsteps...

Dear Em,
We're more than halfway through our time away from each other. While you're having so much fun, we can tell you're starting to feel a little homesick too- which, while it breaks my heart, is to be expected. Something we didn't expect: yesterday you decided you wanted to change your name.

We Skype everyday, sometimes a couple times. We also call you at bedtime to say prayers together & tell you sweet dreams. As we were talking before prayers last night, you caught us both by surprise. "we love you Emma," we told you. We expected your sweet little, "I love you too." Instead we got, "No! Emily! My name is Emily, not Emma!" You said "Emma" in disgust like it was something gross to you.

Your nonnie was softly talking to you about how lovingly you were named & how it would be sad for us if you changed your name. Your daddy was all "I'm not calling you Emily. That's not your name." Me? Well, I just smiled. I even played along.

There was a time in elementary school- I think it was 6th grade- when I decided I didn't like my name. "Julie" was just so plain & boring to me. I loved to read, & Louisa May Alcott was my favorite author. Isn't the name Louisa so beautiful & elegant & grown up. I needed a name that was more like that. I needed a name that would take me places. Julia sounded like a much better alternative to Julie. Julia is way more sophisticated. People are going to take a name like Julia seriously. I could see myself authoring books with a name like Julia. So, one day I went to school & declared that everyone was to call me Julia.

I'm not sure how long it lasted, but it couldn't have been long. The thing is, my friends would call out "Julia," & I wouldn't even turn my head. Deep down it just wasn't my name & I would forget that it was the new name I had given myself. Eventually, it just got frustrating trying to remember that I was going by a new name. So, I just gave it up & decided to go back to just plain "Julie."

And I'm pretty sure, Emily, that you will too. Although it is a little bit crazy to me that I went through this phase in 6th grade & here you are going through it at age 2.5. Sigh, I have a feeling that life with you will always be full of surprises..

I love you so,

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