go forth & explore...

Dear Em,
Today is Columbus Day, but what does that actually mean? Well, there won't be Christmas trees or Easter baskets or even a day off for Mommy & Daddy. What it means for us is you get to spend the day laughing & playing with Grandma & Grandpa while Daddy & Mommy work. What does that mean for everyone else?

Christopher Columbus lived in the 1400s & was a "navigator, colonizer and explorer whose voyages across the Atlantic Ocean led to general European awareness of the Western Hemisphere and of the American continents." I think there are many people who would disagree with many of the ways in which the American continents were colonized & developed, but without Columbus' drive to explore the unknown, we probably wouldn't be here right now. I'm not sure what Columbus Day means to everyone else, but for me it's a reminder to explore.

I hope you'll be an explorer. I hope you'll be an adventurer.

I don't think you have to sail into unknown waters to be an explorer. I don't think you even have to leave the state (although, one of the things I hope to instill in you is the awareness that there are other states outside the smallest state of Rhode Island). To me, exploration means always having questions & a yearning to find answers.

Right now for you, that means picking up an acorn, turning it in your hand, and saying "what's that?" Exploration is going to see the different kinds of animals at the zoo & different kinds of fish at the aquarium. It's smelling, tasting, touching, & seeing pieces of our lives for the first time. I love watching you explore now, the excitement in your face as you discover something new. I especially love watching you explore the lovely things this season brings us: hiking & biking & leaf peeping & apple picking & corn mazing & pumpkin carving.

I hope you won't fear the unknown as you grow older. I hope you'll be an explorer in your faith, your education, your travels, your food, & your loves.

I wish you happy & safe travels in life.

I love you so,
Mommy

love letters

Dear Em,
Steve Jobs passed away this week. He was a visionary in the digital age. If not for him, I wouldn't have the computer I am typing this on (we're a MAC family). I also wouldn't have the Iphone that I follow you around with, taking photos and videos...not to mention the impromptu dance parties we have with music always on-hand. When you're my age, you may not even know what an Iphone was. Who knows what you will have within your grasp by then. The possibilities are limitless. The digital technology in your future will much be due to Steve Jobs, a man who was given incredible gifts by God & did what he was meant to do on this earth. A man who lived no one's life but his own.

"When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart...

...No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."
- Steve Jobs

Hope you have an amazing weekend living YOUR life.

I love you so,

Mommy

(interview taken from this site)

the story of us

Dear Em,
Your papi thought I would grow up & be a politician. Your nonnie hoped I would be an author. I'm still not sure ultimately what I want to be when I grow up, but I'm pretty sure I will be neither of those. However, my love for you led me to do something I never thought I would. I wrote & published (well, not exactly) my first book: The Story of Us.

As a girl, I would love to have your nonnie tell me the story of how I came to be. I swooned to hear the story of how your nonnie & papi met, fell in love, & got married. As you were growing inside my belly, I could hardly wait to share your story, the story of us, with you. After you were born, I rocked your newborn body & softly whispered our story in your tiny ears. Your tiny body grew & grew. Your curiosity & love of stories & books grew too. One of your very favorite books is a family picture book that your aunt & your nonnie created for you. Your eyes light up as you point to your family members and we read you the love messages from each one. That's when i realized how fun it would be for you to read & interact with our story too.

I already had the photos (as I take more pictures than both you & your daddy like). I just had to put words to our story. Putting words to the love in my heart was sometimes tricky and difficult, but it felt so amazing see the finished pages filled with our adventure.

I found out about to adoramapix. The wonderful thing about making photobooks with adoramapix is that the pages are thicker than with most photobooks. This is perfect for a little love like you. You really love your books- I mean really, really love your books. Your favorite books are torn & bent & missing pages because of the amazing love you have for your books. You come running to me with sad tears in your eyes because of a new gash in your beloved pages. I quickly & calmly transition into the role of a book surgeon, deftly using tape to repair the possession you so greatly love. The sturdy pages from your adoramapix book have endured countless turns from your chubby toddler hands & still remain intact. This gives me hope that our story will survive and perhaps be read by your own little loves someday.

It puts a smile in my heart every time you plop your book into my lap and say, "Us! Us!" I love that you point out everyone from our family and some of our closest friends by name. I love that you clap your hands as we read about mommy & daddy getting married. I love that we can share our story together. I hope you enjoy the story of us as much as I enjoy watching you read it. I can't wait to live each new chapter with you.

I love you so,
Mommy

Letters to Em...

Dear Em,
So, I've been thinking about starting a blog for a little while now (to your Daddy's horror) but wasn't sure what about or how to start. Then last week, we experienced a perfect moment...just the three of us. You know, one of those simple moments where happiness & love are all around. Your daddy looked at me with a smile in his eyes and said, "I hope I remember this moment always."

I knew exactly what he meant. I wanted to bottle that precious moment up, take it out on rainy days, & just breath it in. 

We're surrounded by these small, fleeting moments. Sometimes I try to remember exactly the way you smelled the day you were born or the way you pronounced "more" before you could really pronounce it. It all starts to get fuzzy (especially since, on any given day, I'm lucky if I can remember my age & phone number). So, I decided this blog would be letters to you, letters that hopefully capture our special moments.

My mom, your nonnie, had me when she was even younger than what I was when I had you. Somehow she still seemed to know it all (well, until I became a teenager). She raised five kids. Seriously, how do you make it through that in one piece?! I wish I could know what she was thinking as a new mom. It always seemed like she knew exactly what she was doing. When I don't know what to do, which I often don't, she always knows what to do. In my panicked moments, I wonder if your Nonnie felt the same panic. I wonder if your nonnie felt like she wasn't prepared. I wonder who your nonnie was as a thirty-something, what her dreams and inspirations were. Your nonnie is my best friend, as I hope that we will be, but I wish I knew those pieces of her.

So, someday you will have this piece of me...and I will have this piece of you.

I love you so,
Mommy