Throwback Thursday: Lake Winnipesaukee

Dear Em,
Most of my childhood summers were spent at Lake Winnipesaukee. When my aunt & uncle were first building a house there, we stayed in trailers & sheds. I remember being put to work during the building process, staining the house & helping in other ways (thinking about it now, I think my my & aunt were just trying to find ways to occupy three small children & still get work done). In those days, we showered at a nearby campground & washed dishes with a hose.

By the time my aunt & uncle's house was built, it was practically a castle to us. It felt so good to do things like use an indoor bathroom & shower without worrying that the water would run out before we had rinsed the shampoo from our heads. I remember working on Christmas crafts (my Aunt was a planner), putting on fashion shows & performances with my sisters (which were unfortunately video taped), rocking my newly born brothers to sleep, going blueberry picking in the woods next to the house, boating, swimming, & most of all, the rock.

My aunt & uncle had a motor boat & later a couple Sea Doos, but the row boat was more my mother's speed (& with 3-5 small children & a dog to look after, I'm understanding more & more why). She rowed us kids on the lake. I dipped my hands in the cool water, yearning to jump in. We would row out to an island, & tie up next to a large rock that acted like a beach. There we would spend the majority of the day swimming & sunning & eating & splashing. Through the years I began to look at it as my rock.

I left for college & stopped spending my summers at Lake Winnipesaukee, but this past weekend I got to return for the first time in ten years. I couldn't wait to share some of my favorite spots from my childhood with you. So much was exactly the same as I had left it, but there were a lot of changes too.

For instance, we never got around on a golf cart when I was growing up.

Mostly, everything was exactly as I remembered it. There was still a gang of people...& dogs.

There were peaceful walks (except when they involved me & my cousin Michaela competing to get the most steps).

There were plenty of toys to play with.

There was dessert.

There were Sea Doo rides with Uncle Mike.

Life jackets were still uncomfortable to swim in.

And there was my rock.

We spent amazing afternoons swimming & sunning & splashing. On our last day, you called it your rock. It made my heart unbelievably happy.

I love you so,

Mommy

Father/Daughter Wedding Dance

Daddys dancing with their daughters at Andrea & Lowell's wedding.
Photos by Reese Allen Studio

Dear Em,
Remember how I said you've already planned getting married & having kids? You're really starting to plan out the details of your wedding day...which I guess will make for much less stressful wedding planning once you're actually old enough to get married.

My cousin Michaela was in our wedding almost 6 years ago. Now 17 years old, she no longer fits in her junior bridesmaid dress. We thought it would be fun for you to have it & use it for dress up. The cranberry red dress is pretty big on you now. You put it on this past weekend, & the long bow in the back was almost like a train.

Since my cousin wore it in my wedding, & you haven't quite learned the difference between dresses bridesmaids wear & what a typical bride's dress looks like, you declared it a perfect bridal gown. You plan to wear pink on your wedding day, & while the color isn't perfect, you deemed the cranberry color to be close enough.

So, you decided to hold a reception in the middle of my aunt's kitchen. Daddy was standing nearby making his breakfast when you told him it was time for him to dance with the bride. I asked what song we should put on. Your eyes sparkled as you thought about it. "You know the we like to Partaayy, we like to summer song? I think that's perfect. And you know, Dad, the bride gets to choose the song."

I found the song Hot Wings from the movie Rio. For anyone who is not familiar with the song, it goes a little something like this...

Daddy gave everyone else in the kitchen a "how the heck am I going to dance with my little girl to this" look, & played along. I laughed hysterically & wished that I wasn't using my phone to play the song, because I would rather be taking incriminating photos & video.

We listened to the song at least 15 more times that morning, & I had the song stuck in my head for the rest of the weekend. Daddy is really hoping you change your song preference by the time you get married. Not me. I would love to see you & Daddy dance in front of a reception full of people to this exact song...with photos & videos to preserve the moment for all eternity.

I love you so,

Mommy

"Oh, Mommy, I missed you so much."

Dear Em,
I was away for work all last week. It was a weird thing not to have to cook or clean or look after an adorable little munchkin. I got a lot of work done, but I my favorite part of the day was talking to you. As I got out of work each day, I called you at home. You told me all about your adventures each day & all the fun you were having with Nonnie & Daddy & Uncle Jared. We talked about how Daddy can make us "dinner in bed" (aka Room Service) when I got home. Then later each night you called me via facetime, & we talked & said our prayers together before it was time to tuck you into bed. Each night you double checked how many more days it would be until we were together again & that I was definitely coming home at the end of the week.

On Friday night, I didn't arrive home until you were already asleep. I tucked you in & snuggled into you, smelling you in. It felt so good to be near you again. I kinda hoped you would wake up & we could chat a little, but I knew it was better for you to get your rest.

On Saturday morning, I woke up expecting to hear the pitter patter of your feet. The house was silent. I noiselssly opened your door & peeked in on you. You were still fast asleep. Two hours later I thought for sure you would be awake, but you were still sleeping at 9am. 

I knew the sleep was good for you, but I yearned for my Emma snuggles. I was dying for your smiles & hugs & adorable chatter. So, I laid down next to you & snuggled in as you slept. You were just starting to wake up, restless you rolled around. All of a sudden, you jumped up startled, realizing there was someone laying right next to you. Your eyes took in the sight of me, & your whole body relaxed.

"Oh, Mommy, I missed you so much."

You said it with such emotion, it pulled at my heartstrings in a way I can't even describe. I knew exactly how you felt. We spent the next few moments snuggling & chatting & catching up. For the rest of the weekend, you were my little shadow, not wanting to go further than you could see me. I milked it up. It's not every day that you want to tackle the day's activities with your hand in mine.

It's hard for me to find balance between moving ahead in my career without feeling like I'm missing precious moments at home...moments we'll never get back. I'm not there yet, & I don't know if I ever will be. But I do know, it feels so good to come home to your smiles & snuggles.

I love you so,

Mommy

fireworks

Dear Em,
It's been a beautiful summer, the kind where we've been able to turn off the AC & open up the windows without dying of heat & humidity. It's been perfect weather for walks & bike rides & hikes & picnics. Unfortunately, we haven't had perfect weather for fireworks. It poured on July 4th & the weather kept us from seeing the fireworks at the Charleston Seafood Festival.

Not wanting to miss the firework splendor, a month ago we bought all the biggest fireworks you can buy at Walmart. We invited a few friends over & put on a show in our backyard.

Our sumer may not have been full of large fireworks that lit up the sky, but we've had special moments together like this one. Sigh, summer is my favorite.

I love you so,

Mommy

Throwback Thursday: Charlestown Seafood Festival

Dear Em,
Speaking of the Charlestown Seafood Festival, I realized this was our 5th year going. In 2010 we didn't go on any rides. Daddy & I ate seafood, & your favorite part was dancing with Daddy to the band.

In 2011 you were still too small to go on rides by yourself, but we went for a ride on the ferris wheel together.

In 2012 you were big enough to go on rides all by yourself. I can't believe how tiny you were riding the purple airplane up in the air.

In 2012 we went with your best friend. You, S, Nonnie, & I enjoyed face painting (your first face painting). You & S loved riding tons of rides together.

Like I said, we had a blast again this year. I can't believe how much you've grown each summer. Looking forward to sharing many, many more years of festivals with you.

I love you so,

Mommy

Charlestown Seafood Festival 2014

Dear Em,
Since you were born, we've been to a lot of fairs & festivals, but the Charlestown Seafood Festival is my very favorite. Maybe it's because it's the festival that you went on your very first ride. Maybe it's the food. I love seafood. Maybe it's just that it seems like just the right size to me. It's big enough to have lots fun, but small enough that it's not overwhelming.

This year was no different. We started out with some yummy food. There were fish plates, paella, clamcakes & more. It was a seafood lovers dream. You were super excited to tackle the rides next. I was hoping to let our food settle first. We found a place to get your face painted, & you & your best friend chose to be pink, sparkly princesses (what a surprise).

Our little pink princess was tall enough this year to ride on all the rides you wanted, even a super spinning ride.

You loved every ride, except for the super spinning ride, which you dubbed the worst ride ever. You & Daddy both looked a little green after that one.

My favorite & yours was the big slide.

After we had spent all of our tickets on rides, we headed over to the band stage. Bon Jersey was playing. There wasn't too much of a crowd. It was the perfect place for you & your best friend to dance your hearts out.

I couldn't help but think of how grown you & S will be 10 years from now- how you'll likely be going to concerts on your own at that point. It scares me a little bit how quickly the time will go by, & that's why I cherish moments like these. I love these moments where I get to watch you dance your heart out & then you come running back to me for a snuggle & a kiss. Maybe that's the real reason why Charlestown Seafood Festival nights are so precious to me.

I love you so,
Mommy

Smoothie Sous Chef

Dear Em,
You've been making milkshakes with Daddy for a long time. You've become quite the expert milkshake maker/taster over the years. I stink at making milkshakes. They somehow always come out too runny or too thick. I'm lucky to be able to enjoy yours & Daddy's culinary skills.

Not to be left out of the whole blender family bonding experience, I found something that we could share together too. You have become my little smoothie sous chef.

We pull up a chair for you to stand on, & you load the blender up with spinach & strawberries & raspberries & yogurt. You always get to take the first sip. With your green smoothie mustache in place, you tell me we've made the best smoothie ever...every time (which is a good thing, because how else would I get you to eat spinach).

It's a pretty simple thing, but I can't help but look down in awe of my amazing, little, mess-making girl. I breathe you in & steal as many kisses as I can. I love our smoothie making moments.

I love you so,
Mommy

Not a Bad Beach Day

Dear Em,
This summer has kind of gotten away from me. While we've had so many fun adventures, we haven't made it to the beach as much as I'd like. A couple weekends ago you had a birthday party to go to while I went on a morning hike, but we were excited about a beach afternoon. The afternoon was overcast, & we ventured to the ocean air anyway.

It was really chilly for a beach day. We were so chilly that we had to wrap our towels around ourselves. While it may not have been an ideal day for beach lounging, it wasn't a bad day for a walk on the beach. You collected shells along the way. You rinsed each shell off in the ocean before putting it into your shell bag. I shivered just watching you getting soaked in the waves. It didn't bother you. You were at the beach & loving it.

We walked to the end of the beach, to the jetty that separates East Matunuck from Galilee. We climbed up onto the rocks & waved to the boats as they went by (I told you we might see ferries, but you were hoping to see fairies). For the first time, you & I decided to venture down the jetty together. You delighted in the adventure, jumping from large rock to large rock. We worked together to find the best path. You were so proud of yourself as you made it to each giant rock.

We walked down the rock jetty hand in hand, even as rain softly started to fall from the sky. You know what? It wasn't a bad beach day.

I love you so,
Mommy

love letters

Dear Em,

"How long will I love you?

As long as stars are above you

And longer, if I can.

How long will I need you?

As long as the seasons need to

Follow their plan.

How long will I be with you?

As long as the sea is bound to

Wash upon the sand.

How long will I want you?

As long as you want me to

And longer by far.

How long will I hold you?

As long as your father told you,

As long as you can.

How long will I give to you?

As long as I live through you

However long you say.

How long will I love you?

As long as stars are above you

And longer, if I may."

- How Long Will I love You by Ellie Goulding

I love you so,

Mommy