First Time at Fenway

Dear Em,
I love the history involved in baseball. It makes my heart happy that the love of the game & the love of a team is passed down from generation to generation. And it's one thing to watch it on TV, but there's nothing like the very first time you go to a MLB game. The smell of the food, the smack of the bat, the roar of the crowd...it's magical.

We're waiting to introduce you to that magic at Fenway Park. We want you to really be able to experience & enjoy your first game there. We want you to fall in love with the experience just like your daddy & I & our daddy's before us. Last year we took you to your very first baseball game to see the PawSox at McCoy stadium. You did great for a wiggly 2.5 year old, but it really just reinforced the notion that we needed to wait before bringing you to Fenway.

That doesn't stop us from trying to bring you up as the RedSox fan we hope you'll be. At the age of one, you made daddy swoon when you said "Go RedSox! Yankees Stink!" At two years old, our whole family melted listening to you sing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game." At three, you're favorite song is "Sweet Caroline." We're very proud.

While we're waiting to take you to a game, that doesn't mean we couldn't at least introduce you to our favorite ballpark. So, a few weeks ago we took you for a tour at Fenway Park. Nonnie, Papi, & your Uncle Jared came too. It was Nonnie, Uncle Jared, & your first time entering the gates of Fenway. It was so fun to explore all the different areas of the park (you got to stand on the Green Monster at just 3.5 years old!), & even Papi learned new things about his beloved ballpark & team.

Again, we were reminded that we need to wait before bringing you to a whole game. We were lucky to be constantly moving during the tour, because sitting & listening for long periods of time is still not your forte. After the tour we let you pick our lunch destination, Sweet Caroline's (where you did a beautiful rendition of the song), & then took you to the Boston Children's Museum to let you get your wiggles out.

It was such a fun day for everyone in my very favorite city. While we're going to wait before we bring you to your first game at Fenway, it made my heart so happy to share some of the magic with you at this age.

I love you so,

Mommy

Face Painting

Dear Em,
As a parent, there are some things I want more for you than you want for yourself. Face painting, for instance, has been one of those things. Face painting has come a long way since I was a child. I used to have the option of a butterfly or a flower painted on my cheek. Now you can get your face painted to be a butterfly or a flower. There is glitter & jewels. Sigh, like life without smart phones & internet, you will never understand how much lamer face painting used to be.

I've been dying to see you all painted up! You? Not so much. Every time we have passed a face painting booth, you've turned up your nose while simultaneously giving me that stubborn don't-even-think-this-is-going-to-go-your-way look. The most I had been able to talk you into is getting a flower painted on your arm.

Until recently.

I've found a secret weapon. If there is another child with us who wants to do something, usually you will want to do it too. Maybe that's actually sorta like peer pressure, & I'm a bad parent for using it as my secret weapon. I don't care, because for the first time ever you got your face painted, & it was amazing.

When we mentioned face painting, your best friend S couldn't wait. So, you couldn't wait either. You went first. Of course you chose a princess design.

Then little S went. She chose a different princess design.

Then I thought, "what the heck," & I got my face painted too (is it possible I just wanted you to do it so it would give me an excuse to get my face painted too?).

Nonnie even joined in the fun.

We spent the rest of the Charlestown Seafood Festival with our painted princess faces riding rides, making our way through activity houses, & dancing to music.

The evening ended with an amazing firework display.

It was such a fun filled night that we got to share with little S, Daddy, Nonnie, Grandma, & Papa. It was definitely my favorite Charlestown Seafood Festival adventure yet. On the way home, we talked about our 3 favorite things from the day. What topped my list? Face painting, of course. That day will always be the very first day you got your face painted, & it was every bit as amazing as I had hoped.

I love you so,
Mommy

and we're back

Dear Em,
Whoops? Did I take two weeks off from writing? It wasn't what I had planned. When Nonnie left to go back home, it was really sad for all of us. You and I wiped each other's tears & gave each other a snuggle while we waved bye to Nonnie & Papi's car as it pulled out of our driveway. It felt really strange, like we had to learn how to be a small family of three all over again. So, we took time to rest & relax. We took time to get organized. I took some time to unplug. Then we lost our internet for a little while. I just shrugged my shoulders. I guess my unplugged time was meant to be.

So, we took time for fun moments like this...

and we had new moments like this...

and my heart melted during moments like this...

But now I'm back & excited to get back to writing & recapping these moments & all the moments to come.

I love you so,
Mommy

Red Dead Redemption

Dear Em,
It always makes me smile when Daddy comes up with activities to do with you. You get so excited for Emma-Daddy time. It makes my heart happy that the two of you have such a special bond.

Last weekend, you & Daddy hit a milestone together. You were downstairs with Daddy. When you came upstairs you were both smiling from ear to ear. You were bouncing with excitement. The two of you played your very first video game: Red Dead Redemption.

I know very little about video games, but I guess Daddy thought I was going to be pretty worried by the title of the game. "Don't worry I made sure she didn't have any weapons & put her person in a corner of the game where no one else was. She just had a lot of fun making the guy walk around," Daddy quickly assured me before I could even think of any reason to protest. He looked at you, a proud expression filling his face. "I think after watching characters move around on TV, she's really excited that for the first time she was able to control the way a character on TV moved."

I had to smile at your daddy. He was just so thrilled to see you loving something that he loves (in moderation). For the next hour, the two of you played Wii golf, Wii tennis, Wii bowling, & some more G rated Red Dead Redemption. "Oh no, Daddy! What happened to my guy?! He's in the water," I could hear you exclaim from the basement. "Oh, Emma, he doesn't know how to swim. He'll come back, but try to keep him out of the water."

Maybe I should be worried about you developing a video game obsession. Maybe I should be researching what is age appropriate & what's not. But I'm not. Right now I'm just smiling thinking about a precious moment shared between my little girl & her Daddy...& how much I love you both.

I love you so,
Mommy

Providence WaterFire

Dear Em,
I was in college when I went to my first Providence WaterFire. It was magical. Although after dark, the city came alive with music while over 80 crackling bonfires burned in three of downtown Providence's rivers. It was beautiful. It took my breath away.

WaterFire was fun too. There used to be dance lessons before the fires were lit followed by an evening of dancing. One time Daddy & I & friends enjoyed a night of laughter & swing dancing. There are also people who pose as sculptures & yummy food.

Your daddy & I moved away from Rhode Island for a time, & it was a few years that we didn't get to enjoy any WaterFires at all. Then we had you, & the thought of navigating you in a stroller through the packed crowds of people made my head spin. But then my family came to visit, & I was so anxious to share the magic with them all. So, with a little hesitation, we took you to your very first WaterFire when you were just 1 1/2.

We didn't bring a stroller. I get claustrophobic enough in the sea of thousands of people. Maneuvering a stroller through it all (& up stairs) would have surely given me a panic attack. Luckily, my family is large & we had lots of helpers to carry you. Taking a 1 1/2 year old to WaterFire wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. In fact, it was really amazing. My family became just as enchanted with WaterFire as I did my first time...as did you.

There are 13 WaterFire lightings each season. Sadly, last year we missed them all, but I couldn't wait to take Nonnie with us again this year. This time you were two years older. You're a great walker & wouldn't require a stroller or carrying. Plus, I was a WaterFire-with-a-child veteran. I wasn't as intimidated this year. I was so confident with my WaterFire-with-a-child abilities, I thought "why not take two kids?!" So, you, Nonnie, & I headed to WaterFire with your best friend S. 

I was feeling like a pretty awesome Mommy. I even had the great insight to stop at Job Lot to buy cheap glow necklaces & bracelets. How fun would that be once the sun set?! This was going to be the best night ever...or maybe not exactly. Here's how things actually went.

7pm: Arrive at Providence Convention parking lot. Walk 15 minutes with two kids to the WaterFire area.

7:15pm: Find the perfect spot to wait for the WaterFire lighting. A spot that might not be the best view but provides room for you & S to dance & spin around without knocking people over or falling into the river. 

7:20pm: Buy everyone Dels.

7:30pm: Realize I forgot the fricking glow sticks in the car, run (like for real run) back to the parking garage, & run back to the perfect spot where you, S, & Nonnie are waiting for me. Frick! Frick! Frick!

7:50pm: Return to our perfect spot sweating profusely & realize that our perfect spot has become a lot more crowded than when I first decided it was a perfect spot & there really is no view of the fires. Search for a better perfect spot.

8pm: Sit down at the new perfect spot...sniff...sniff...Is that poop?! OMG, you've got to be freaking kidding me!

8:05pm: Feel lucky that none of us actually touched the poop, although feel like we had gotten too close for comfort. Find a new perfect spot that is dangerously close to the river but hope that we can keep you from falling underneath the railing. Watch Nonnie have 13,000 panic attacks about you falling into the river. Watch S sit safely & maturely & wonder if it is even possible for you to sit still for 30 seconds?! Look at the dirty river water & contemplate if I would jump in after you if you fell. Ultimately decide that I would but that it would probably be awful.

8:15pm: When is the freaking sun going to set so they can light the fires?! Crack open the glow sticks & bracelets to distract you from trying to slide underneath the railing & falling into the river.

8:21pm: They've started lighting the fires, but it goes ever so slowly. When the fires in front of us are finally lit, take in the beauty. Look down at you. You are BORED. "Is this it? Can we do something now," you ask impatiently.

8:35pm: Decide to walk around. "I don't want my glow necklaces," you whine. Give them all to little S. She now has 8 glow necklaces around her neck & is lit up like a Christmas tree.

8:40pm: A woman passing by asks where we got the glow necklaces from. I explained to her that we got them at Job Lot & not the event. Then I think, "What the heck, S has 8," & hand her the top two glow necklaces from S's neck for her to have. Feel pretty good about helping out a stranger.

8:41pm: You ask me why I gave glow necklaces to a lady we don't know. I explain to you that it is nice to do things for others. You begin to cry about me giving away the two glow necklaces you can't live without (even though you didn't want them originally).

8:45pm: People are staring at us. You're still crying, which doesn't really go with the peaceful music that is playing. I am wondering why I didn't leave you at home with Daddy. Nonnie is desperate to get you to stop & convinces S to give you her pink glow necklace, even though it is also her favorite color. You stop crying.

8:50pm: You're crying again. Apparently this time it's because you saw someone holding popcorn & you realized you might die if you don't get some in your belly NOW. Nonnie says she is happy to treat us all to some popcorn. The popcorn search begins.

9:20pm: We walked what seemed like miles through small areas packed with thousands of people, but we finally find what actually might be the World's Best Popcorn! It seems as though you will live. You are happy again. Nonnie & S are happy. I just want to find a uncrowded spot to sit quietly & take in the beauty of the music & bonfires.

9:30pm: I find my quiet, perfect spot. You look at me. "Mommy, I have to go potty." Augh! There are no bathrooms that I know of nearby. I think for a second about trying to get you to pee in the river. Not a good choice. All he bathrooms I know of are back near the parking garage. "Let's just find a bathroom & head home."

9:40pm: I notice a guy standing next to you in the crowd holding a red solo cup filled with some type of mysterious liquid. I instruct you to watch out, not wanting you to have said liquid spilled all over you. "Watch out for what guy?!" you ask me. It was then I realize that at your height, you can't see anything other than a sea of people's legs. I realize that your WaterFire experience vastly differs from mine. 

10pm: The bathrooms weren't where we thought, & after walking for forever we end up in a dirty Macy's bathroom. I think we all just feel lucky you didn't have an accident before we got there. Except then you accidentally pee on your shorts in the bathroom stall. We wrap your shorts & underwear in paper towels & head to the car.

10:15pm: Made it back to the car. Have you & S change into PJs before strapping you into your car seats. Watch you both fall asleep before we even leave the parking garage.

10:45pm: Arrive home. You & S are so exhausted you don't even wake as we take you out of the car & up the stairs to bed. I feel just as exhausted & collapse in my own bed immediately after tucking you in.

The next WaterFire is this Saturday. As magical as it is, I think we will make our own magical firepit at home this time.

I love you so,

Mommy

girl, you make me smile

Dear Em,
I don't know if you can even understand how much you make me smile. I sometimes wonder where all of my smiles came from before there was you. Surly, my life wasn't filled with half as many. On super frustrating days, I pull out precious memories of you & they brighten up even the dreariest day. The other day, you gave me a moment that will make me smile for always.

Em: Mommy, I have a surprise for you. <Hands me your baby-doll.>
Me: This is mine?! I can keep it forever?
Em: Well, you can keep it for today, & give it back tomorrow.
Em: <Nervously looking at me smiling down at the baby-doll & takes the baby-doll away>
Me: I thought I got the baby-doll for the whole day?
Em: Well...I have a better surprise for you.
Me: What is it?
Em: ME!!!!
Me: Do I keep you today & give you back tomorrow?
Em: No, you get to keep me forever!
Me: Well, what about when you leave me to go to college?
Em: <Sad eyes. Serious face. Pats me on the back as you calmly & soothingly say the next words. > Oh, sweetie, don't worry. You can come with me.

I might hold you to that.

I love you so,
Mommy

The Outtakes

Dar Em,
You know that it's the end of July/beginning of August in our neck of the woods when every one's facebooks feeds are filled with pictures of Buttonwood Farm. Buttonwood Farm started as a Dairy farm, but has grown over the years. Last fall we met up with some of my high school friends & their kids for pumpkin picking, corn maze adventures, a fantastic hayride, & other fun. In the summer, everyone comes for the sunflowers (& the ice cream). Ten years ago, Buttonwood planted an acre of sunflowers & noticed that people were coming from all around to photograph them. The next year they planted 10 acres, sold the sunflowers, & donated the proceeds to the Make a Wish Foundation.

People truly do come from all around. Like I said, facebook feeds have been full of sunflower photos. I've wanted to go see the sunflowers for years, but we were never able to fit it in to our schedules (or I would forget about it until the sunflowers were gone). This year I was determined. We had approximately 2 hours of free time on a Sunday morning, & we were going to fit in sunflowers. Not only that, we were going to take amazing family photos...maybe photos that we could use for this years Christmas cards.

There was just one problem. I'm serious about there only being a two hour window of time for us. Sunflower week happened upon one of our busiest weeks of our summer. Daddy & I were exhausted from a full week of work & full day of Newport Folk Festival fun the day before. You were exhausted from double-sleepover-mania. I didn't care. We were going to take amazing photos if it killed us.

I haven't quite decided if we will use our Buttonwood Farm photos for our Christmas cards, but thought I would share some of the outtakes just so you can see how wicked fun Buttonwood was for us that day...

This is how the photoshoot started. I was just happy that we're all dressed, color coordinated, & surrounded by pretty sunflowers. You & Daddy? Not so much. Can you two look any angrier about having to take family photos?!

Then there were these two gems. You smiled so adorably in the first, but I'm pretty sure Daddy is contemplating how he can go out for milk & never come home. In the second, I'm going to call that your I-Hate-Everything-About-This-Face.

At this point I may have started to get a little frantic. My voice may have risen past normal levels high-pitched crazed levels. "Why are you two making this so hard?! If you want ice cream, I better see some smiles from my family! Do you want to have to do this again?! Let's pull it together," I screeched. A smiling man in front of me turned around to see where the screeching was coming from, & nervously met my crazed eyes. "Um, I'll smile for ice cream," he said gently like you would talk to an unstable person. I'm pretty sure he was thanking God he wasn't part of our family. I'm pretty sure you & Daddy were wishing you could be apart of anyone else's family.

We took a break. You went for a ride on the cow train. Daddy bought some sunflowers to take home. Then we tried again.

What do you think? Perfect family Christmas photo?! Maybe we should just forget real family portraits & use your family drawing instead?

I love you so,

Mommy

Family Portrait

Dear Em,
I recently commissioned a local artist to draw our family portrait. What do you think?

I should probably mention that the local artist is three (and a half) years old.

Our artist seems to like the abstract. In case you don't recognize us, Daddy is the big, orange one to the right of the page, I'm the (maybe doing a cartwheel) upside-down, orange one at the bottom of the page, & you are the sweet, little, (also upside down) pink one on the left of the page. You added hair-bow stickers to my & your hair, & Minnie (also upside down) is just hanging out with our family. You've come a long way from your very first family drawing. We all have hair, eyeballs, & fingers now.

You told me I could keep this drawing for always. It's kinda amazing, art seems awfully expensive these days but I only had to pay you in hugs & kisses. I know art is subjective, but I think Emma originals might be my very favorite kind of art.

I love you so,
Mommy