Princess Birthday Party: The Venue

Dear Em,

* This the third post of 4 posts recapping an adorable 4.5 Princess Birthday Party. See also Princess Birthday Party: The Theme, Princess Birthday Party: The Invites, & Princess Birthday Party: the Food. *

It was on the day of your very first hair cut trim that I first learned you can have birthday parties at a hair salon. What?! I think I asked about it, because it seemed so silly. What kind of children's birthday parties happen at a hair salon? Does everyone get their hair cut, get a lolly pop, & then go home?

The woman cutting your hair that very first time smiled at me as she explained that the parties at Kidz Adventure Cuts include a fancy hair up-do, nail painting, a temporary airbrush tattoo, & glittery make-up. Then they have a separate room with black lights, a disco ball, & music where kids can eat & dance & play. This is SO up your alley. I can't think of any part of that party description that you wouldn't be absolutely giddy about.

I could think of many parts of that party description that your male cousins & friends wouldn't enjoy. While I try not to define what kids like & dislike by their gender (we have many discussions with you about how boys can like pink & play babies too), I just couldn't wrap my head around how to make this a successful party for both boys & girls. As we planned your 4.5 birthday party this year, I wondered how we could give you your dream party, but include everyone. Ultimately we decided to have a party just for the girls (after all, I had tons of girls parties when I was growing up).

The invitations asked your little girlfriends to come to your party dressed in their favorite princess attire. It was beyond cute to see the little princesses as they were arriving in Aurora, Rapunzel, Tinker Bell, & Elsa attire. You were dressed in a Sofia the First dress, ready to be made up into Princess Emma the First.

There were three hairdressers that worked with us during the party, & they started on your hair, nails, air brush tattoos, & make-up right away. It was amazing to watch how quickly the women at Kidz Adventure Cuts worked. They made glittery hair masterpieces in about the same time it takes for me to put your hair up in a pony tail, & they were so incredible with you littles. There was very little wait time for any of you princesses, & you all enjoyed the make-over fun so much.

A princess girl party seemed like the perfect place to reuse our pink & glittery photo booth that we had made for Aunt Andrea's shower. You & your little friends got a kick out of accessorizing with boas & tutus & crowns & getting your pictures taken.

Soon you were all glammed up, & you were all stunning little princesses. You ate and danced the rest of the party away- you know, like princesses do. It was too stinkin' adorable.

It's amazing to me how much joy you bring us by just being you. To watch you in all your fancy, glittery glory put a smile in my heart. I loved all the giggles & the dance moves & just watching you with your little girlfriends. Even though it was your special day, you made sure to include all the princesses & spend precious moments with each & every one of them. I loved every moment of your princess party.

As we left the party, you thanked me. You told us that THIS was the BEST PARTY EVER. Your eyes sparkled with happiness. It was as if you realized that not every girl gets to be a princess for a day, & for the first time post birthday party, you had so much gratitude in your heart. I had to agree with your assessment. It was my favorite party too. It's funny how you've made your anti-pink Mommy find the joy in fancy & pink & sparkles. But I guess just about anything that puts a smile on your face brings joy to my heart.

I love you so,
Mommy

I apologize for you to people who don't have kids, & I hate myself for it.

Dear Em,
I was the best parent I would ever be before I had children. I had firm beliefs about the "right" parental tactics I would use. I just knew that MY children would be well behaved, especially in public. MY children would always say please & thank you & would NEVER throw tantrums (gasp). I looked at rowdy children & just new that my supreme parenting skills would allow my children to rise above it.

I laugh at my pre-child self now. I want to invite her over for a drink (or four) & gently break it to her that she is a complete idiot. How do you explain that the child you hated to sit in front on an airplane because they actively kicked your seat will one day be your own child? How do you explain, that while not ideal, a tantrum is typical behavior for a young child that is overtired? How do you explain that deciding to skip a nap so that you can partake in a fun activity almost guarantees that the next day will be a cranky disaster? How do you explain that although parents work with their children, many young children struggle to sit quietly through a two hour dinner? How do you explain that a child acts much differently outside of their environment than they do when they're in their own environments & on their own schedules? How do you explain that every child is different- in a good way? How do explain that there are some days that you shove every parenting notion you ever had aside & feel happy that you have kept your child alive for the day? I sound like a total ahole when I say this, but sometimes you just can't understand until you've experienced it.

Maybe it's knowing how judgy my pre-parent self was or maybe it's my own insecurities, but sometimes I feel uncomfortable around people who don't have children. I watch them watching you running around with the energy of a lifetime supply of Energizer Batteries & I feel like they're judging. I see their wide, overwhelmed eyes, & I wonder if they think our lives are crazy. I listen to their harmless comments about how active you are, & I wonder if they're asking themselves who would ever want this kind of life. I watch them chastise you for something you have done because they're trying to help, but I wonder what right they have to tell you what's right & wrong. I know that the judgments are possibly all in my head, but it still stresses me out...& so I apologize.


"I'm so sorry we can't eat our meal/ride in the car/take a walk in peaceful calmness." 

"I'm so sorry my child is running around us in circles." 

"I'm so sorry we can't have a five minute uninterrupted conversation." 

"I'm so sorry my child can't sit quietly in your toy-free house & is touching your very breakable things."

"I'm sorry my child didn't embrace you with open arms but instead acted shy."

"I'm sorry my child didn't do what you asked her to do the first time you asked it."

"I'm sorry my child doesn't consider this grassy field a park & is disappointed in the lack of a playground."

"I'm sorry my child won't eat this."

"I'm sorry my child is crying because she missed her nap yesterday."

"I'm sorry my child is whining."

"I'm sorry my child is not quiet."

"I'm sorry my child does not want to sit and watch this adult television show."

"I swear, she is much better behaved at home where she is comfortable & knows the rules & has toys to play with."
 
I find myself apologizing & explaining way more than I ever would with people who have children. The thing is, I hate myself for apologizing. You are a four year old- an amazing & bright & loving & rambunctious four year old. You don't always sit quietly, & you often forget your manners. When you're overtired, you cry a lot, & you're in no way perfect. But you're FOUR...& when is the last time you met a perfect person anyways.
 
So, you'll have to forgive me, Em. You'll have to forgive me for apologizing instead of smiling & being a little more proud of you & the less judgy parent that you have made me. You'll have to forgive me for focusing on your rowdiness instead of celebrating the times you do use your manners. You'll have to excuse me for getting flustered when we're asked why our child is acting like this, instead of proudly saying "because this is how children act." 

You see, I'm learning right along with you. I'm pretty sure, together, we'll get it. 
 
I love you so,
Mommy

Discover Beautiful Rhode Island: Fort Adams

Dear Em,
When you enter our quaint, little state, there used to be signs that read "Welcome to Rhode Island." They've recently been replaced by large "Discover Beautiful Rhode Island" signs. As weird as I think it is to have a corny catch-phrase welcoming newcomers to our state, I guess discovering "Beautiful Rhode Island" is one of my favorite things to do. It's amazing to me how small this state is, but after almost 13 years of living here, I feel like I'm discovering new & beautiful parts of it all the time (like our favorite beach that we discovered two years ago).

With my family visiting, I thought about new Rhode Island adventures we could take. Fort Adams is a place I have heard about a lot but had never actually toured. I'm a total history nerd. While many people at URI took sailing classes, my fun college electives were always history classes. My dad is a little bit of a history buff (maybe I got it from him), & after being in the Navy, it seems like he especially enjoys learning about military history. A tour of Fort Adams seemed like it would be the perfect adventure for history nerds. It is also mainly outdoors & on the water, which made the tour perfect for my mom. As it turns out, they started the tour by telling us we can touch anything along the tour, which made it the perfect tour for you as well.

Fort Adams is the largest coastal fortification in the United States. After the war of 1812, the nations fortification needs were reviewed, & it was decided that the very large fort would be built. The fort was under construction from 1824 to 1857 (33 years) & was an army post for over 100 years. During that time, the fort was active in 5 major wars but never "fired a shot in anger." It primarily stood as a deterrent for invasion, because of the mastery in how it was built to withstand attack from water & land.

In the early 1990s a trust was formed to oversee public programs & restoration of the fort, & in 1995 the fort became open for tours from May-October each year. Proceeds from the tour go toward the restoration and maintenance of the fort. There are two ways to tour Fort Adams. You can be led on a general guided tour or walk around on a self guided tour. While the guided tour is double the price, it is definately worth it because it provides narrated access to areas that are not open to those taking self guided tours (like the quarters where officers lived, atop the Fort where there is a gorgeous view of Newport Harbor & Narragansett Bay, & in the underground tunnels). There are discounts available for military, AAA members, college students, & children. I actually completely forgot to ask about the discounts & was so grateful when the ticket teller asked me if any of the discounts applied before charging us for our tickets.

It took us 45 minutes to drive from our house, through the heart of downtown Newport, & to the state park that Fort Adams stands on. We arrived 15 minutes after the first tour began (10am). We bought tickets for the 11am tour, which gained us entrance to the fort from then until 4pm when the fort closed. However, we decided to head outside to wait for our tour, where there are gorgeous panoramic views of Newport Harbor & the Newport Bridge. People were walking & jogging along the Bay Walk. There was a large grassy field with picnic tables. I was so excited to learn that these areas are all free to the public (had I realized this, I would have packed food & we could have enjoyed a picnic after our tour). This just became on of my favorite RI spots. We'll definitely be back for future picnics & walks.

We enjoyed the fresh air & open water views before heading back toward the fort to begin our tour. We started the tour outside of Fort Adams, taking in the massive structure. You beamed when you were told that you could touch anything. You certainly took advantage. You touched cannon balls. You touched the cool, large walls. You hung on gates. You picked flowers in the grassy fields. You climbed on cannons to your heart's content. It's a great day for you when nothing is off limits (although there was a flower-picking injury).

I loved exploring the numerous defense designs of the fort. The planning that went into building the defenses for the fort made my head spin. A fort that never fired on an enemy seemed like a waste of a fort, but it made me wonder if Fort Adams wasn't there as a deterrent what invasions Newport may have seen. I enjoyed learning about how soldiers (& sometimes their families) lived & worked as we visited the different areas of massive Fort Adams.

The last part of our guided tour took place in the underground tunnels. There were miles of tunnels built under the fort so that soldiers could hear if an invasion was coming from underground. The tunnels are long, dark, & cool. Even with the flashlights they provided, it was a little frightening how dark the underground of Fort Adams is. Some of the tunnels were less than 5 feet tall. We all walked hunched over so as not to bang our heads- except for you. You walked seamlessly through the tunnels, which made you a perfect leader. We followed you until we made it back above ground. Our tour guide thanked you for being a great leader & then let you pass out "tunnel rat" stickers to our tour group. You beamed with importance.

As we let the fort for lunch & a little bit of Newport boutique shopping, you looked up at me all smiles. "That was a really good tour, mom." I agreed. It was a perfect little Rhode Island adventure. Maybe you'll be a history nerd right along with me. Who knows what other fun historic spots we can explore together. I just hope they will allow you to touch everything.

I love you so,
Mommy

Throwback Thursday: Michaela & Em

Dear Em,
There is more of an age difference between myself & my cousin Michaela than you & my cousin Michaela. I was in high school when Michaela was born. I remember her being a very adorable & demanding toddler. Everything was hers...including my mom.

When I went to college & became busy growing up, I didn't get to experience much of Michaela growing up. She was in our wedding, just as my sisters & I were in her mom's wedding.

It wasn't until Nonnie began spending her summers with us that we got to spend more time with Michaela. You were just a baby, every bit as adorable & demanding as Michaela had been. Your dirty diapers & screams & cries were a foreign thing to Michaela, who is an only child. We tried to give her the full sibling experience, teasing her as siblings do (there were a lot of water fights). Although Michaela didn't have a lot of experience with children, she did her best to help my mom care for you, & you loved her.

You still do.

Michaela came to visit last week, & you were thrilled to see your playmate returned. It's been a couple years since the two of you had been together. I think Michaela was surprised by how tall you've grown & how active & verbal you've become. You were surprised by Michaela too. "Michaela, you grew up. You can read now! I'm so proud of you!" Michaela told you that she could read the last time she visited, had learned well before you were born, & had read books to you previously (I mean, just look at the above photos). You insisted that she had just learned, & beamed with pride.

It's amazing to see the two of you together. It's crazy how much you've both grown up in the past 4.5 years. I giggled, watching you try to get away with as much as you could with Michaela, who hasn't had the four and a half years of practice putting her foot down like your mother has. You two played barbies together. You went for walks together. You insisted that she read you books & put you to bed each night. It was incredibly precious.

Michaela has grown into such a beautiful & fun & caring & funny & bright & strong woman. She's graduating next year, & I can't wait to see where her future will take her. I expect amazing things from such an incredible woman. I hope when she's not busy too busy in college growing up, she'll continue to visit with us. Watching Michaela love you makes me less worried about you being an only child yourself. You may not have siblings, but you do have Michaela, & that makes my heart happy.

I love you so,
Mommy

Princess Birthday Party: The Invites

Dear Em,

* This the second post of 4 posts recapping an adorable 4.5 Princess Birthday Party. See also Princess Birthday Party: The Theme, Princess Birthday Party: The Venue, & Princess Birthday Party: the Food. *

Once we had decided on Princesses as a birthday party theme, I started to think about the invites. Of course, I turned to Etsy for this. Why spend hours creating invitations when you can have them done in minutes for an inexpensive price.

They were so many princess themed invitations on Etsy, it was a little overwhelming to choose just one. Luckily, Daddy helped me out, & we finally settled on an invite from Forever Your Prints.

From here.

Karen from Forever Your Prints was great! I explained to her that we were throwing a 4.5 birthday party & needed a blonde little princess on the invitation. I also asked if we could include in the invitation that we would love for your little guests to come dressed in their favorite princess attire. Karen was prompt & did a great job helping us customize your invitation. We even got free thank you cards (which we need to get on). All we had to do was print out the cards, address the envelopes & send them out to your sweet little princess friends.

You oooohed & awwwwed about the final invitation. "I'm the princess on the invitation, right Mommy?" It made me smile to see your excitement over an invitation that was created just for you. I think it was the perfect way to set the tone for your fancy & frilly princess party.

I love you so,

Mommy

Convos With My Four Year Old (part two)

Dear Em,
Just another hilarious conversation between me & my favorite four year old...


Em: I'm going to marry the handsomest guy ever, & I'm going to wear lots of makeup & a pretty dress.
Me: Well, it's nice to marry a man who is handsome, but I think it's most important to marry a man who loves you.
Em: I hope he's not cruel. 
Me: Yes, that's right. I knew I wanted to marry your Daddy because he was kind & funny & he loves me very, very much.
Em: OK, but he has to be handsome too. 
Me: Sigh. OK. Just remember what is really important.
Em: Well, you know I'm going to gave kids.
Me: Oh, that's wonderful. How many kids will you have?
Em: Probably four but I hope God only gives me one. 
Me: Why will you probably have four if you hope God only gives you one?
Em: Because I want four kids but I really just want one.

Well, that makes total sense.

Ha! You seriously crack me up. I can't believe what comes out of your mouth. Lately, there have been a lot of talks about getting married. Your Aunt Andrea recently got married, & I figured you enjoyed the wedding day so much that you've begun to think about your own. It was a few days after this conversation that I finally figured it out. More so than getting married, you want the fancy wedding dress...& probably the big party too.

Slow down, little girl. Time is passing fast enough as it is. Don't be in such a hurry to grow up.

I love you so,
Mommy