Friday, November 15, 2013

love letters

Dear Em,
"You're my back bone.
You're my corner stone.
You're my crutch when my legs stop moving.
You're my head start.
You're my rugged heart.
You're the pulse that I've always needed..."
- Phillip Phillips "Gone Gone Gone"

I had a rough week this week. During one particularly disappointing day, where nothing seemed to go right, I felt wounded. I spent the better part of my day fighting an overpowering feeling to just let go & cry before going to pick you up from school. You're eyes lit up when you saw me enter your classroom doorway, & it warmed my heart. "Mommy," you squealed. "Come see my bear tower!" I walked over to see the Magna-tiles tower you had built. You opened the top part of the tower to show me tons of bears "that lived inside." You beamed with pride. I think I kinda beamed too.

You started putting away the Magna-tiles & the bears. You told me that I could help. As we finished up putting everything in it's correct bin, you told me "we make a great team." Then you told me "we should high five." You gave me a precious high five before we left school & headed outside. You snuggled me in tight as we walked through the parking lot to the car, as if you knew I truly needed it.

We drove to meet Daddy. He walked out the front door to meet us. His eyes were understanding, & his arms were open. He knew what I needed at that moment. He let me just bury my head in his chest & stand there for a moment. He also had reenforcements. He held up a box of macaroons (my favorite) for me.

So, I took a deep breath, let it it go, went inside with my family, & ate dinner. We talked, & we laughed. We took you to gymnastics & watched you do the perfect frontward roll. I couldn't help but feel like my seemingly disastrous day wasn't really a big darn deal. Am I still disappointed? For sure. But this is what is important- Magna-tile towers, high fives, dinnertime together, laughter, perfect forward rolls, & a family that holds me close when I need it. It was a rough day, & there will be more rough days ahead, but as long as I have you & Daddy I have all I need. Thanks for that.

I love you so,

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