Tuesday, August 12, 2014

"Oh, Mommy, I missed you so much."

Dear Em,
I was away for work all last week. It was a weird thing not to have to cook or clean or look after an adorable little munchkin. I got a lot of work done, but I my favorite part of the day was talking to you. As I got out of work each day, I called you at home. You told me all about your adventures each day & all the fun you were having with Nonnie & Daddy & Uncle Jared. We talked about how Daddy can make us "dinner in bed" (aka Room Service) when I got home. Then later each night you called me via facetime, & we talked & said our prayers together before it was time to tuck you into bed. Each night you double checked how many more days it would be until we were together again & that I was definitely coming home at the end of the week.

On Friday night, I didn't arrive home until you were already asleep. I tucked you in & snuggled into you, smelling you in. It felt so good to be near you again. I kinda hoped you would wake up & we could chat a little, but I knew it was better for you to get your rest.

On Saturday morning, I woke up expecting to hear the pitter patter of your feet. The house was silent. I noiselssly opened your door & peeked in on you. You were still fast asleep. Two hours later I thought for sure you would be awake, but you were still sleeping at 9am. 

I knew the sleep was good for you, but I yearned for my Emma snuggles. I was dying for your smiles & hugs & adorable chatter. So, I laid down next to you & snuggled in as you slept. You were just starting to wake up, restless you rolled around. All of a sudden, you jumped up startled, realizing there was someone laying right next to you. Your eyes took in the sight of me, & your whole body relaxed.

"Oh, Mommy, I missed you so much."

You said it with such emotion, it pulled at my heartstrings in a way I can't even describe. I knew exactly how you felt. We spent the next few moments snuggling & chatting & catching up. For the rest of the weekend, you were my little shadow, not wanting to go further than you could see me. I milked it up. It's not every day that you want to tackle the day's activities with your hand in mine.

It's hard for me to find balance between moving ahead in my career without feeling like I'm missing precious moments at home...moments we'll never get back. I'm not there yet, & I don't know if I ever will be. But I do know, it feels so good to come home to your smiles & snuggles.

I love you so,

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