Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Summer Beach Days 2015

Dear Em,
Typically Summer=Beach for us. That wasn't quite the case this year. After you injured your ankle, you were in a cast & then a boot. We spent a lot of time trying to rest your ankle, & mostly stayed away from the beach.

Though our beach trips were fewer than we would have liked, we enjoyed (& are thankful for) the beautiful & fun beach days that we were able to have this summer

Up until this year, you always went boogie boarding with me. I kind of carried you on the board out into the water & over the waves. Then we boogie boarded together. I always had at least one hand on your board at all times. 

This year you surfed the waves with Daddy & a friend. Daddy set you up for a nice wave...& then let you go. I have to say, I had about a thousand mini heart attacks watching you. During one big tumble in the waves, I bolted out of my beach chair & sprinted down the beach to you. I was ready to pick you up & hold you in my arms, shielding you from the dangers of the sea. "I'm fine, Mom," you said emphatically. Then you turned around & ran back into the water.

Sometimes we went beyond the waves & I used the board strap to tow you as you held onto the board on your own. Sometimes you tried to swim in the ocean without the board. You emerged from the water at the end of the day with scrapes all over your body & a great big smile. I was totally amazed by you & the fact you reached this incredible milestone. At the same time, it scares the crap out of me to see you surfing in the ocean waves without me being able to protect you the whole time. 

I didn't realize how often happiness & pride can simultaneously be felt alongside immense fear. It's funny how often your new milestones bring about those conflicting emotions. There are some days I want to wrap you in a bubble & keep you safe from any harm the world might bring. I know I have to let you go. I have to let you go to work through the tough times & rejoice in your victories. I have to let you go & watch you get hurt but get back up again. I have to let you go so that you have the ability to fly...not just fly, but soar. I have to let you go & watch your little body ride the big waves. Just know, that after a particularly big tumble in the waves, I'll always be standing by with open arms if you need them.

I love you so,

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