Monday, October 17, 2011

who wants to egg allen gant's house?

Dear Em,
I'm thinking of finding allen gant, the inventor of panty hose, & egging his house. Want to join me?

Every since I was a little girl, I remember hating tights. As an adult, my hatred extended to nylons. We just haven't established a very good relationship. They never seem to feel or fit right. They're all saggy in some spots & all tight like a sausage casing in other parts. Believe me, it's really not pretty. Plus, I've yet to meet a pair of nylons or tights that I can take out for a full day without returning with a run or a snag.

That is why, although I admit I sometimes dress you up for your everyday life as if you were on your way to a run-way gig, I REFUSE to subject you to tights. I may subject you to tutus, pigtails, hair bows, and impractical footwear, but I must draw the line somewhere. The perfect alternative: leggings! At this moment, there are approximately 10 pairs in different colors and patterns folded and sitting in your closet., bringing practicality & fashionability to your whimsical wardrobe.

If I want to wear a dress in between the months of September and May, bare legs are just not an option...we live in New England, afterall. So, I've spent the majority of my life constantly finding myself turning back to my dysfunctional relationship with nylons and tights. When leggings started to become fashionable for women as well as children, I couldn't help but think God had answered my prayers. I ran to my sock drawer with every intention of exterminating every pair of tights and nylons I owned.

The problem? Where are all of the fun adult leggings? Options pretty much include black and grey. Seriously? That's it. You get to rock your polka dots & stripes & red candy canes & I get black & grey?

I don't know if you'll ever realize how lucky you were as a one and a half year old. sigh.

I love you so,

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