you're amazing...

this is how you roll

Dear Em,
During the first year & a half of your life, we were so blessed & lucky to have amazing people come to our home & watch you while Mommy & Daddy were at work. We could put our 100% into our jobs, knowing that you were loved and cared for during our work-day. Last month you started preschool, and it's been a transition for all of us. Our hearts ached knowing how tough the transition must be for you. It must have been so confusing for you to be left with people you didn't know, in an unfamiliar place. Your Daddy & I love the school you're going to & hoped that you would come to love it too, but the first three weeks were difficult, really difficult.

I love you so, and spend my work-day missing your smile. I look forward to picking you up from school & hugging you in my arms. With that said, let me tell you, for three weeks the 25 minute drive from your school to our house was about as amazing as spending an entire day at the DMV. You were absolutely fine during the walk from your classroom to our car, but the moment I clicked you into the carseat, you lost it. Have you ever listened to a fire alarm right behind your ear for 25 minutes straight? I think that may be a far more lenient punishment.

When your dad got home from work, I thought about talking up how amazing pick-up is. I thought about telling him your school gave me a full spa treatment, oil change, & car wash just for picking you up each day. Maybe pick-up would sound so amazing that your daddy would offer to do it everyday for the rest of your life? Instead, I broke down. "I can't handle the drive home," I whined on the verge of tears (I'm sure your daddy wanted to get out of listening to me whine as much as I wanted to get out of listening to you wail).

I knew that you were sleep deprived & confused & feeling abandoned, but there is nothing worst than listening to the person you love most scream in your ears for 25 minutes while you're trying to concentrate on not crashing the car into a jersey barrier. After only a week, we questioned if we had chosen the right school. I was ready to get down on my knees & beg your nannies to come back.

And then, all of a sudden, it got better. We gave you an earlier bedtime, I stocked my car with enough snacks to feed the state of Rhode Island, & you started to feel acclimated at your school. That's when it happened. We had one of those perfect moments.

I had asked you how your day went, & you had already given me minimal details. You were quietly snacking on pretzels in your carseat. I was thinking about what I was going to make for dinner & how I was going to fit all the things I needed to get done into my work agenda. In the background, Bruno Mars' Just the Way You Are was playing softly (we're both big fans of Bruno Mars). Suddenly I heard your little voice sing behind me, "You're amaaaaaaazing...just the way you ahhhhhhh." It was so sweet, happy tears started to well in my eyes. You continued to sing in the most amazing, off key, toddler voice. "Mommy, you're amaaaaaaaaazing...just the way you ahhhhh." I couldn't have been more happy or more touched if Bruno Mars himself was sitting in my backseat singing himself.

Once we got home & I had camera on hand, I tried to get you to do a repeat performance. You would not sing for me upon request. I guess it was more special that way. You gave me exactly what I needed, at just the right time. You gave me such a special gift. You are such a special gift. Em, you are the most amazing person I know...just the way you are. I hope you always know that.

I love you so,
Mommy