love letters

Dear Em,

"In these bodies we will live,

in these bodies we will die

Where you invest your love,

you invest your life..."

- Awake My Soul by Mumford and Sons

Tomorrow is your Daddy's birthday, & it's a big one...his 30th birthday. 30 years might seem like a long time to you. It may even seem ancient. But believe me, it goes by in the blink of an eye.

This weekend we will be celebrating the 30 years that one of the most amazing men I know has lived on this earth. I'm so fortunate to have shared almost 12 years of them with him, & you've shared 3. I can't tell you how unbelievably lucky we are to share the years ahead with your daddy.

When I met your daddy, we were both so young & had a lot of growing up to do. At first, in my eyes he was just a cute guy with a fun personality. We navigated through the growing years together, & each day I learned something new about him. I saw how strong he can be when he needs to be & also how vulnerable. I saw how he can be sensitive but also let things roll off his back. I watched him support me through really tough times & make me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry. Little by little I knew that this was the man that I wanted to spend my life with- the man I wanted to continue to grow with.

We had always planned to have kids, but your daddy was never really a kids guy. Throughout my pregnancy, your daddy wondered if he would be a good father. I never questioned it. I knew what kind of man he was. During my labor, your daddy gave me strength when I had none. He soothed me in exactly the way I needed. He encouraged me in exactly the way I needed. I was a bumbling disaster, my mind clouded with what I couldn't do. He never left my side & helped me see I could. I'll never ever forget that. 

And when he held you in his arms for the first time, well, it was love at first sight. The amazing, over the moon kind of love that you can't know...until you do. I always knew he would be a great father, but I never knew him quite like this. This man that plays barbies with you. This man that tells you you only have to eat three more bites & you can have dessert when tears fill your eyes because I've instructed you to eat ten. This man whose heart breaks everyday when he drops you off to school & you cling to him crying. His heart has grown in ways I can't explain. You two have a groovy kind of love, a love that's special between just you too. I'm not jealous. If anything it makes me love your daddy even more.

This year, the last of Daddy's twenties, has been full, really full. We have gone on some amazing adventures & had some precious moments. There have also been some tough moments. I've been traveling more for work. This means more of the parenting has fallen to Daddy, but I haven't had to worry. I've been able to give my 100%, because I know you two are more than great at home. You two take care of each other in a way that makes my heart so full & happy tears fill my eyes.

The other night, Daddy said he was tired. I think it was 6pm, maybe earlier. You got him a blanket, tucked him in, climbed up onto the couch with him, & read him some books before "bed." To watch you two together is enough to make anyone believe that dreams come true.

So, happy birthday to Daddy. It's been 30 great years & we can't wait to share many, many more with such an amazing man.

I love you so,

Mommy