love letters

Dear Em,

"Grandma Grandpa, Grandma Grandpa

Today is for you, today is for you

We want you to feel special,

To know how much we love you

Yes we do, yes we do."

Last month you enjoyed Grandfriends day at school, & I don't think you could have been more excited about it. Grandma got to be your special guest. Your class had worked really hard on special songs & crafts. You shared the songs with Daddy & I (& everyone else I could get you to sing to), & it put such a smile in my heart. When I think of Grandma standing there while your whole adorable class sang your prepared songs, I tear up a little.

You were actually a little quiet, which is not typical for you. When we asked you about it, you said you were upset that the Grandfriends were laughing at you. "I think they thought there was something wrong with my clothes," you said weepily. I just melt. We tried to explain to you that they weren't laughing at you because of something wrong but because you were all so amazing & adorable. You still aren't so sure.

Laughter or no laughter, I'm sure it was so much stinkin' cuteness. I'm a little jealous I didn't get to go.

I love you so,
Mommy

What is Donate?

Dear Em,
In life & in love, our little family is so fortunate. As the temperatures fall this winter & wintry weather falls, Daddy & I have been taking to you about how fortunate we are to have a home to keep us warm. Your eyes get wide at the realization that not everyone has a house to come home to...or clothing to wear...or food to eat.

I've tried to be more mindful about this season, possibly more than any other, being more about giving than receiving. I've tried to keep you more mindful about it too. We donated a princess Barbie Doll to Toys for Tots (which you looked at longingly). We provided a bag of canned goods for the Boy Scouts. You handed the man from the Salvation Army all the change I had in my wallet. Instead of just buying things for you, you helped me make gifts for your friends, your teachers, & our family.

A few years ago one of my friends gave me another idea. In order to be more mindful about giving when she was a child growing up, her parents encouraged her to go through her toys each Christmas season & chose one to donate. She now helps her children do the same. I thought that would be a great idea for you. As we looked through your room in search of one item, I noticed there were many things that you haven't played with in a while but would bring joy to other children. We filled a couple boxes with books & stuffed animals, & I wondered where we could donate them.

I have an amazing friend. Ryan & I worked together in college. We were beach buddies & he has been my children's movie buddy ever since (we're so excited to have you to watch with now too). After college, Ryan worked with & counseled people who had been given terminal diagnoses. I asked him how he could see such pain day after day? Ryan just looked at me like how could he not? Seriously, this is the kind of thing that real superheros are made of.

Now Ryan works for Friends Way, a nonprofit bereavement center in Rhode Island that provides support & programs for grieving children, family, & teens. When I asked Ryan if they could use books & stuffed animals, he said the kids would love them. I talked to you about giving your things to children who had been through some very sad things & hoped that your books & toys would be something to help them smile. You weren't really thrilled to be saying goodbye to your things, but you were OK with that. So, we packed your things into boxes, loaded them into my car, & you & I headed to meet Ryan at Friends Way.

Ryan greeted us at the front door & gave us a tour of their building. Children's pictures & poems & paintings filled the walls. The walls were otherwise white, & Ryan was excited that a mural would be painted on one of them the very next day. We saw craft rooms & rooms filled with mismatched couches & chairs. You enjoyed walking from room to room until you eventually found your favorite spot, a box filled with brand new stuffed animals. Ryan told you as a way of thanks you could pick out one stuff animal. I kind of sighed. This trip was supposed to be about giving for you, & here you were receiving, but the smile on your face made it impossible to say no. You may have had trouble picking just one stuffed animal.

You finally picked out one purple ballerina bunny & named her Purplicious. You told Ryan you would love your little Bunny forever. "I promise I will never sell Purplicious." I looked at you quizzically. "What do you mean sell your bunny? We don't sell your things." "Aren't we selling my things to Ryan," you asked confused. I smiled & tried not to laugh. "Oh, Em, we're not selling your things. We're donating them."

"Donate? What is donate?"

Ryan explained to you that donating is giving your things that you don't play with anymore to other children so that they could love and play with them. You seemed happy with that, especially if it meant you could take Purplicious home with you (the two of you have been inseparable ever since). I don't know if the "giving is better than receiving" message has truly set in for you at this young age, but I hope that this season is the start of a tradition of giving for you. I hope we can find new ways to donate & help those in need. I hope that you know of everything that sits under our tree, yours & Daddy's love shines the brightest.

I love you so,
Mommy

Christmas Tree Door Hangers

Dear Em,
This year has marked many firsts for you, but it has also marked many fourths. We've celebrated four Valentines Days, four St. Patrick's Days, four Easters, & four Halloweens. Each year & each milestone has been such a blessing, & it puts a big smile on my face to look back at the memories through our photos.

To celebrate your fourth Christmas, we made festive Christmas tree door hangers. I cut Christmas tree shapes out of green paper, cut your photos into smaller tree shapes, glued them together, & then glued the trees onto sparkly gold ribbon. I made one for our home, one for Grandma & Papa's house, & one for Nonnie & Papi's house.

It brings an extra special sort of Christmas cheer to our house. You love looking at our Christmas tree door hangers and reminiscing as much as Daddy & I do. "Mommy, wasn't I cute when I was almost one? And almost two? And almost three?" Now you're a twirling, whirling, great, big almost four year old. Sigh, I really can't express enough how much it goes by in a mere blink of an eye.

I love you so,

Mommy

the end of gymnastics

Dear Em,
Last week you tumbled & balanced & swung through your very last gymnastics class of the year. You've loved it & we've enjoyed it, but you have dreams of becoming a ballerina. So, we'll be entering into the world of tutus & tap shoes & ballet slippers in 2014.

I know we weren't supposed to, but I may have snuck a few photos of you.

I'm not really sure what I expected from your gymnastics classes, but it probably wasn't much. At such a young age, I doubted you would be learning any real gymnastic skills. We really just wanted you to have fun & burn some energy for 45 minutes a week. While you did have fun I'm not sure about you burning energy. You seem to have an unlimited supply. I think I truly underestimated what the experience would give you. Your skills have really improved. You do the most adorable frontward roll (before gymnastics you kind of awkwardly flopped over without tucking in your chin). You do pretty well on the balance beams. With the help of a wall, you even have the cutest little handstand.

You also made a really sweet friend. We wish we could take her with us to tap & ballet, but I'm hoping it's not the end of gymnastics for you. Perhaps we'll be able to try again next fall, & I can enjoy again peeking through the windows at my sweet little love hopping & rolling & handstanding through class.

I love you so,

Mommy

Your First Letters

Dear Em,
You've come a long way with your writing since this summer. A couple months ago you even wrote your first letters. We were sending a Halloween surprise to Nonnie & Papi, & I knew they would love a message from you most of all. I asked you what you wanted each leter to say, one for Nonnie & one for Papi. I wrote your message word for word in yellow. Then you sat down at the table & traced over each letter of each word until you had created two whole letters. You must have spent at least an hour, patiently & carefully writing. You added your own special touch by drawing pictures at the bottom of each one.

You helped me fold the letters & stick them in their envelopes. Then you traced over the yellow writing I had used to address them. You gave each envelope some flare with pictures you drew & colorful stamps. We went to the postoffice together & you stuck your envelope in the mail slot all by yourself.

When Nonnie & Papi received their mail, you talked to them on the phone about it. You smiled from ear to ear at their excitement over your very first letters. Cutest thing ever.

Now you're loving letter writing. You've written birthday letters & thank you letters. Today we will be tackling what you perhaps consider your most important letter of all: your first letter to Santa. I'm so excited for your very first year of Santa letter writing. We're even going to go to the special, big, red mailbox at Macy's to send it out.

Now that you have a new found love for letter writing, you hope it doesn't all go one way. "Well, you know, mom, it would be nice if someone sent me a letter. I hope I get some letters for my birthday." I'm sure we can try to arrange that.

Little do you know, I've been writing letters to you for over two years now, & I'm looking forward to the day when you can read them all.

I love you so,
Mommy

O Christmas Tree 2013

Dear Em,

When Daddy & I celebrated our first holiday season living together, it was actually a little bit of a challenge. We both had different holiday traditions that we had grown up with & cherished. All of a sudden we were looking at having to decide what our holiday traditions would be. 

One of the first things we talked about was our Christmas tree. I don't remember ever having a real tree growing up. It's kind of hard to get a real tree when you live in places like Hawaii. We had a beautiful (as life-like as you can get) fake tree that we would put up & cover with way too many decorations each year. Real trees just seemed messy & expensive to me. Daddy grew up with real Christmas trees, & he insisted on us keeping with the tradition he grew up with: cutting down our own Christmas tree.

I'm so glad he did. Going to pick out the perfect Christmas Tree as a family at Shartner Farms the day after Thanksgiving (we give Thanksgiving it's due, but I'm happy to rush into Christmas celebrations as soon as it's over) has become one of my very favorite holiday traditions.

You like the baby trees. I like big, fat trees (the bigger, the better). Daddy likes trees that will actually fit in our house.

Your job is to make sure the tree doesn't fall off of our car on the way home, & you take your job very seriously.

Once we get home, we let you take a nap while Daddy & I get the tree in the house & Daddy puts the light on it. Once you wake up, you put your reindeer antlers on & help us decorate the tree. While we may not have a fake tree, we keep my family traditions alive by filling our tree with way too many ornaments. I love every second of oohing & awing over each ornament with you, some of them more than 30 years old now. You're kinda the cutest & sweetest little tree decorator in the whole wide world.

After our tree is lit & decorated, the living room is my favorite room in the whole house. I could sit in the cozy light of the tree forever. It's just the kind of magic I need to start the Christmas season.

I love you so,

Mommy

Our Fourth Year Favorites

Dear Em,
I can't believe how quickly this year is coming to an end. Our year ends with such a bang: holiday celebrations, a trip to visit my family, & your birthday. You remind us that you are turning four almost every day. We've had such an amazing year so far, & I thought now would be a good time to highlight your fourth year favorites.

I like to highlight each year's favorites so that the two people who read this blog have holiday gift ideas for any little loves around your age. But mostly, with how quickly the world & everything in it is changing, I think it will be fun for you to know when you are older what your favorite things were when you were three years old.

We're trying (& possibly failing) to instill in you that things are not what is important in life. We talk to you about family, friends, & love being most important. We've been talking to you about how holidays should be more about giving than receiving. One of the things I love about you & this age is that a day at the park or a trip to the library or a game of hide & seek are almost as exciting to you as a day at Disney. I say this, & yet, your room & our home are filled with things, & these things have brought smiles to your face & joy to our home. Finding a balance is something I struggle with sometimes & sometimes wonder if I'll always struggle with. Nonetheless, these are a few of our favorite things...

We've covered things in previous lists that still rank among your favorites. This makes me happy. I love things that last (which is why I get your clothes a little big so you can wear them for more than one year). From your second year favorites (Part 1 & Part 2), the trampoline, little red wagon, roller coaster, & kitchen set still put smiles on your face (& ours). Your book shelves are filled with lovely books, some of which you are beginning to read. You're starting to master bigger puzzles, & coloring books keep you busy for hours. We've added stickers & stamps to your coloring bin, & you make us the sweetest pictures. It makes me smile to see how much you still love babies. We don't plan to give you a little brother or sister, but you have your dolls to keep you company.

From your third year favorites, your little lamby is still your very best friend. We have multiple lambies in multiple houses & at school. You've begun to dress her up. Right now, she's in a fancy blue, princess dress "for Christmas." We still love to pull out magnatiles & play dough. Your towers have gotten taller, & your play dough figures are created more independently. You have surprised even yourself at how well you can maneuver your scooter. You're really starting to zoom on that thing, to the point where I think you're almost ready for the next step scooter. When we're at home & I need to get things done, one of the easiest things we can do is pull out your easel. You enjoy creating art while I have some moments of quiet. If we go to lazier route, movies will also keep you occupied. You typically have a favorite for a few months, begging to watch the same movie every time until then a new favorite takes over (your favorites have changed from Tangeled to Despicable Me to Wreck It Ralph to Lilo & Stitch). Your love for movies saves us during long car rides. You ask us how long it's going to take to get to North Carolina, & I tell you six movies.

Castle (& Camping Lantern)
There are also new things that you've grown to treasure this year. Santa brought you a cardboard castle last year (I think I bought it for $25 from Zulilly), & it seems to be the first spot your friends & our family have gone to since you've gotten it. You have colored & stickered the walls with our hand prints & sweet pictures. You store our camping lantern in it (honestly, we could probably list our camping lantern as one of your favorite things too) & play in it with your stuffed animals & baby dolls. When you're not pretending in it, it doubles as a terrific hide & seek hiding spot. It's larger than I thought it would be, & we're lucky that you have a large enough room to store it in. Otherwise, I don't think we would have been able to keep it out all year to watch it become one of your favorite things.

Savanna Dollhouse & Barbies
My sisters & I loved playing Barbies when we were younger. We would play all day long, but I don't remember ever having a dollhouse. I was thrilled when Nonnie & Papi gifted you your dollhouse last Christmas, along with the tons of Barbies that mostly came from Aunt Jennie & Uncle Nick. You also have horses & bikes & cars for your Barbies to ride. It seems like a lot...mostly because it is a lot. But your dollhouse & Barbies are probably your very favorite at this age (well probably tied for favorite with baby dolls). We've given up naps in favor of quiet time this year, & you'll sit your whole quiet time playing Barbies (sometimes creating our whole extended family).

iPod
It's kind of funny that you have your own iPod, because I was truly against you owning anything like that. I want you to experience playing real games & use your imagination rather than looking at a screen. But when Daddy & I upgraded our iPhones last year, Santa decided to give you my old phone in your Christmas stocking. Technically it's an iPhone but without any service so it acts as an iPod. It has music & cartoons you like, a few apps that you play with, a camera you love to take photos with, & you can watch Netflix using wifi. You don't use it all that often, but it is a real treat when you do. And since you like to wake up at 5am when you have a sleepover, we pack your iPod in your overnight bag in hopes you will watch cartoons in the morning instead of waking up the whole house.

Merry-Okee
Your Uncle Greg got you a funny little elf microphone for Christmas last year. You can sing on your own or it plays a few Christmas songs that you can sing along to. You have the option of projecting your regular voice or the microphone changes your voice to sound high like an elf's. You love to put on "performances." We announce "presenting Emma!" You run out with your microphone & put on a show. I have to say, Daddy & I have had some really good laughs watching you perform. I was at a work function when I received a video text from Daddy. It was you, standing in only your undies, singing your ABCs with your microphone. I could hear Daddy laughing in the background. I've saved the video & will pull it out & watch it if I need a smile.

Dress-up Clothes
Some of your dress-up clothes have been passed down from my sisters or my cousin. Some of them we've collected at events (we still have a ton of hula items from your luau birthday party). Some of  the costumes were from Nonnie who finds super sales after Halloween has passed. You've pretty much dressed-up in all of them, although the Princess gowns are, of course, your favorite. We have hung the outfits on a rack in your room, & the shelves of the rack hold purses & hats & headbands & a ton of other accessories. Your dress-up rack almost always seems to be the first place you & your little friends go to play with when we have friends over. Sometimes I find you combining your favorites. Dress-up & babies & barbies, oh my!

Radio Flyer Steer & Stroll Trike
We bought this for you for Easter when you were one. You probably weren't quite ready for it yet, but I was excited to get outside & do things with you. The nice thing about this tricycle is that there is an attachment that made it so that we could push you & steer from behind. We spent a few years pushing & steering. You didn't like that much. You like to have control over where you go. It's just that you had a hard time getting the whole pedaling & steering thing down. After your daddy gave up & claimed you would never learn to ride a bike, you figured it out this year. Now, you love your little trike, but you're starting to get a little big for it. You might just see a big-girl bike under Grandma & Papa's Christmas tree this year, but I'll always fondly think of your very first tricycle that you learned to pedal & steer on.

Kiwi Crates
We subscribed to once a month kiwi crates at our house, & they've quickly become a family favorite. We've made jelly fish, tied died paper, glow worms, puppets, rocket ships, and more. You love to color & build & create while spending time with Daddy & I. I love that we're doing something creative, you're learning while having fun, & it involves no shopping or creative thinking on my part. Daddy loves that it's an activity other than playing barbies. It's a win-win-win! I think you would rather do a Kiwi Crate than watch TV. This is a big thing, because while you don't watch a whole lot of TV (except maybe on football Sundays), it sometimes seems like it's your very favorite thing in the world (you can sing every line of the Doc McStuffins & Sofia the First theme songs). I see kiwi crates being something we continue to enjoy for a long time.

Adjustable Back Float
We've had you in pools since before you were one. Tears formed in my eyes the first time I saw you swimming on your own with arm swimmies. As time went on though, we noticed that the swimmies weren't really encouraging you to learn to swim. You could basically just float along. Even when you wanted to get somewhere, you didn't really need to paddle with your arms at all. Your cousin had an adjustable back float, & we loved it so much I ordered you one right away. With this float, you have to paddle your arms & kick your legs to get where you want to go. I feel like you're really learning to swim rather than just floating around. As you get stronger with your swimming, we can remove layers of the float until you're swimming all on your own.

Board Games
We love having our friends over for game nights, but playing board games with you is something that Daddy & I just started this past year. You love it. Our favorites so far are the Lady Bug Game (which encourages counting & number recognition), Candy Land, Thin Ice, & Hello Kitty Bingo (which encourages matching patterns, counting, & letter recognition). We also bring Old Maid with us in the car & take it out to play when we're at restaurants & waiting for food. The only issue we've run into is your aversion to not winning. There have been a few meltdowns. We're working on the whole being a good sport & not being a sore loser thing, because you are super competitive. I'm hoping that will come in time.

Power Wheels Mustang Convertible
I can't tell you how much I wanted Power Wheels when I was younger. I kind of missed the boat. By the time my family got one, I was too big & had to sadly watch my siblings ride around. We were so excited to put a huge bow on your shiny, red convertible for your third birthday. Our excitement fizzled as we watched you immediately crash into a wall. We live on a cul de sac & figured it would be easy for you to drive around in a circle. We were wrong. Nothing was safe from your driving, not even my parked car. It actually took the patience of Nonnie & Papi to teach you how to turn, slow down, & watch where you're going. You've gotten a lot better (although, still nothing is safe), & we even made it so you can drive at the faster speed. One of my favorite spring/summer workouts is jogging next to your mustang while you drive.

Buckets & Shovels
Some of these things seem expensive & an awful lot...& some of them are. We're truly fortunate to have generous friends & family (& also to find really good deals...we purchased your Mustang Convertible using reward points). I'm a little worried that we've kid of spoiled you, but when it comes down to it, the littlest things make you really happy. I think one of your favorite things to do this year is play with a few buckets & shovels at the beach. Most of your beach toys could be found at the dollar store, but you treasure them. You could spend a whole day making sand castles, digging holes, bringing water back & forth, & collecting shells & rocks. You take after your Mommy that way.

So, I hoped you enjoyed some the highlight of some of your favorite things. I'm excited to see what you do with your favorites in the next year & what new favorites emerge.

I love you so,
Mommy

the magic of the library

Dear Em,
I love so much about you & this age, but one of my favorites is how simple things are magical to you. It's amazing to me how something as easy as a trip to the library has you bubbling with excitement. A huge smile covers your face that's infectious to anyone who is near.

Our library is not very big. In fact, I think it's the smallest one I've ever been to, but that doesn't matter to you. To you, it's pure amazingness. Nonnie started taking you this past summer, & I've continued the every three week tradition. While Nonnie let you check out more books than your little arms could carry, I limit us to five (in hopes that we can keep track of five books for three weeks).

You walk quietly into the children's section, pulling out books to look at the cover pictures. You squeal with delight when you find some of your favorite characters. Other books are harder to find, & you sweetly peek up at the librarians to ask them if they will help you find a book on a topic you're exploring at school.

When we're done choosing our books, you place them on the front counter. I give you our library card so you can hand it to the librarian, you know, like big girls do.

It's not much, but to you it's everything...& I love you so much for it.

I love you so,
Mommy

Thanksgiving Recap 2013

Dear Em,
We had such a lovely Thanksgiving 4-day weekend. When we have time off, we're typically traveling. I can't tell you how amazing it felt to have four wonderful days to enjoy without travel. It was definitely much needed.

It was nice to relax as a family on Thanksgiving morning. I finally have a buddy to snuggle & watch the parade with this year. You even took some pictures of some of your favorite parts of the parade (Hello Kitty was definitely the highlight for you). I love, love, love the way you enjoyed the musical performances. It gives me hope for having a musical buddy in the future (you're not quite ready for that yet). After watching a few performances, you ran upstairs & came back down in this little ensemble.

Look at that little tude you've got on your face. This was your "I'm too busy being a ballerina princess to take photos right now." Your outfit was complete with a ballerina leotard, tutu, rainbow "tights," butterfly ring, bracelet, high heeled princess shoes, & flower in your hair. You told me that you had picked out your "Thanksgiving clothes." Unfortunately for you, I changed you into your real Thanksgiving clothes just before we left for Grandma & Papa's house. Short sleeved leotards are not very practical in New England in November, & high heeled shoes are not very practical on you ever (you took a tumble in them that almost ended your castle & bruised up your arm).

It was so nice to sit down with so many family members at Thanksgiving dinner & catch up. We've all had so much to be thankful for this year & have so much to look forward to in the year coming. I feel so fortunate to have married into such a big, wonderful family & really enjoyed spending time with everyone.

You were overflowing with excitement at being able to play with your cousins- a little too much excitement. You were in rare form. There was screaming & toy throwing & an unfortunate incident where one of your cousins ended up with marker all over his nice Thanksgiving shirt (we think you were trying to trace him?). It was a little embarrassing to be the parents of the child who was screaming & throwing & marking up the other kids, but we were still thankful for you all the same. We also weren't surprised when you fell asleep on the way home. Sleep deprivation always shows itself in the strangest ways with you.

We spent the rest of the weekend catching up on sleep, relaxing, snuggling, listening to Christmas music, decorating for Christmas (more on the in a later post), enjoying a game night with friends, celebrating Papa's birthday, & loving our time as a family. I asked you what your three favorite things were last night, & the first thing you said was spending time at home. You know what? I couldn't agree more.


I love you so,
Mommy

Top 40 Hits: Baby Ohgahway

Dear Em,
We don't really listen to much children's music. Sure, you know "The Wheels on the Bus" & the "Itsy Bitsy Spider," but even as a baby you listened to a playlist of songs I loved instead of typical kids songs. We may later come to realize that this was a big parenting fail...especially when you tell people that you love Miley Cyrus & "Wrecking Ball" & we're not there to explain that you've never seen the "Wrecking Ball" video nor have you ever even seen a photo of Miley.

It's been fun to see how your love of music has evolved, with your favorite songs being happy & poppy. You were singing "We are Young" at two years old instead of "Row Row Row Your Boat." You also have a tendency to make up your own songs, which can be equally cute & slightly annoying as you sing the same made up chorus repeatedly for a half hour. One song consisted of you just singing "Ella the owl" on repeat until I begged you to stop.

One day I was cleaning out your closet & you were playing with your baby dolls nearby (most likely making a bigger mess than the one I was trying to organize). You were singing to your babies about "Baby Ohgahway." After the 437,221 rendition of "Baby Ohgahway," I couldn't handle listening to the same few words on repeat any longer. I asked you to sing another song, any other song...something with English words or real names. You tried to sing another tune, but it was clear this "Baby Ohgahway" song was stuck in your head, & you would unconsciously sing it again & again.

When I thought I had heard the words Baby Ohgahway so many times my head was going to explode, I realized something. There were a few more words. "I really want to love somebody, but you're Baby Ohgahway, you're Baby Ohgahway," you sang. You hadn't made up your own song at all.

"Em, are you singing 'Love Somebody'?"
"No, Mommy. I'm singing Baby Ohgahway."
"Well, is it a song you made up?"
"No, it's a song we listen to in Daddy's car."
"That's what I thought. You're singing 'Love Somebody,' & there is no baby Ohgahway. They're singing 'but you can take me all the way."
"No, you're very wrong. The song is about Baby Ohgahway."

I tried to play the song via U-Tube in hopes to convince you, but you held firm on what you knew better than me was the true wording of the song. You continued to sing about that poor baby with the very unique name until I had finally finished organizing. I don't think I've ever been so happy to finish cleaning out a closet.

I guess if you can't beat them, you join them. The song has come on during our car rides many more times, & I started to sing about Baby Ohgahway right along with you. After a while, you felt the need to correct me. "Mommy, it's not Baby Ohgahway. That doesn't even make sense. You're singing the wrong words. Listen, they're singing 'you can take me all the way.'"  Sigh. Now you sing along with the right words, but when I hear the song all I can think of is poor Baby Ohgahway.

I love you so,
Mommy